As told to Avinash Lohana (MUMBAI MIRROR; December 11, 2017)

In Priyadarshan’s horror-comedy Bhool Bhulaiyaa I played a new bride Avni who is possessed by the vengeful ghost of a dancer from Bengal, Manjulika, and was required to brush up on Bharatanatyam that I had learnt as a child. I remember how much I hated waking up early on Sunday and going to class and would bring the house down. My father once complained to my mother about how my wails would ruin his day off and cajoled her into discontinuing my class. I was ecstatic but Bharatanatyam caught up with me years later when I signed this film.

I began training with Sharda Ganeshji at her institute, Kalasadan. I was doing a lot of films in those first couple of years and I was hard pressed for time and really had to work to fit these dance classes into my hectic schedule. It was only when we started shooting that I realised how much those sessions helped. Bharatanatyam demands a different stance which can be quite painful but my guru’s training had made it easier for me.

Two weeks before the film went on the floors, I started rehearsing with choreographer Pony Verma and another Kathak dancer from Delhi, Poornima, who assured me that I knew the dance form well but I still kept rehearsing like I was possessed. In fact, while shooting in Film City studio, we hired a room in Subhashji’s (director Subhash Ghai) institute where I would go to rehearse for an hour during the lunch break before reporting back on the sets.

I had to match steps with Vineeth who has been dancing since the age of four so I gave it my 100 per cent. Expressions are important in Bharatanatyam but you have to be subtle. I remember watching Padma Subrahmanyam perform when I was a child at the Fine Arts Society in Chembur where I used to live earlier. I was spellbound! This dance form is like acting but it has rhythm.

My guru was really disappointed that I didn’t continue with my lessons after the film. But now I’m considering taking up Kathak or Bharatanatyam just for the joy of it. At one stage when I was learning Kathak, I could do 27 chakkars without feeling dizzy.

As part of my prep I also learnt a language. My first film before Parineeta was a Bengali film, Bhalo Theko, and I learnt ‘bangla’ for that. I would keep going over my dialogues on set as I wanted to dub for the film myself. But when I went to the dubbing studio, they realised my accent was flawed and got a dubbing artist. That day I decided I was going to master the language and today I can proudly say that for all my ad films, I dub in Bengali myself.

I have been learning the language from different people over the years as I have worked with a lot Bengali filmmakers, including my Parineeta director (Pradeep Sarkar). Dada’s entire team is Bengali and my grasp of the language helped during Bhool Bhulaiyaa because I had a few lines in bangla as Manjulika.

I also learnt the Punjabi accent for Raj Kumar Gupta’s black comedy-drama Ghanchakkar from Sumit Batheja who has scripted Luv Shuv Tey Chicken Khurana, Hyderabadi accent for Samar Shaikh’s Bobby Jasoos from Abbas sir and UP Hindi for Abhishek Chaubey’s Ishqiya from another tutor, Vikas. I trained for a month before we started filming and would record their voices and listen to the tape later.

I always wanted to learn to ride a horse. It was a resolution that made it to my bucket list every year. I finally did, thanks to Srijit Mukherji’s Begum Jaan. I got on a horse a couple of days before we started shooting last year. It was a lot of fun but at one point, because of the chiffon fabric I was wearing, I slipped and fell off the horse. Now, I want to learn swimming and sword fighting.

Vidya Balan is never afraid to display her vulnerable side – a reason why she’s a top notch actor
Anuradha Choudhary (TIMES LIFE; December 10, 2017)

From a one BHK in Chembur to a sprawling sea-facing apartment in Juhu. Does it seem surreal?
We recently sold our Chembur house and that was heartbreaking. I went there and cried. For the longest time we had kept that house. But the redevelopment seems to be taking forever. Unfortunately, the building is falling apart. I used to take a bus from Chembur to come to Prithvi theatre in Juhu for my summer workshop. I was 15 then. Looking back it seems symbolic. I’d get off at the bus stop, which is right outside my present house because the Prithvi workshops were conducted in a school in Juhu Koliwada, where Asha Parekh lives. Not once did it occur to me then that I should be living here. I was happy. I know people wish for bigger houses and better cars. I’m not one of those. Which is why until seven years ago, we lived in Chembur.

When was the first time you realised you wanted to act?
I keep saying it was Madhuri Dixit’s Ek do teen (Tezaab) but I guess it started before that. Those days, while I was still in school, they used to show regional language films on Doordarshan on Sunday afternoons. I remember watching Laxmi in a Tamil film, where she plays a lawyer. There was a huge scam in the South those days where because of the reservation policy, many Brahmins claimed to belong to the scheduled caste. Laxmi claims to belong to a scheduled caste in the film and gets caught. Then I remember seeing the Malayalam movie Elli Pattayam. The movie seemed slow with nothing happening. My sister Priya painstakingly explained to me the difference between art and commercial movies then. She also explained what acting was. How it’s about your ability to express feelings and how your eyes are the most important tools while acting. I soaked in all this at the age of 11. And then there was no looking back.

When was the first time you realized you were beautiful?
Thank you for saying that but while growing up a lot of people would tell me, ‘You’ve got such a pretty face, why don’t you lose weight? It always came with the caveat of ‘why don’t you lose weight?’ I was a plump child. During my teens I was fat. But at home there were no restrictions on food. My father only wanted us to eat well. But I guess, my mother was a bit worried. As a kid she would take me for walks. She’d trick me and take me to Chembur station for grocery shopping. She’d say we’ll take a rickshaw back home. But she’d make me walk both ways. And I’d sit on the road crying, refusing to walk.

But while acting and thank God for that, I realised that beauty is as beauty does. There I wouldn’t bother about profiles. But if I had to pose for a picture or if I had to do a photo shoot or an ad film, I’d tell them to shoot me from the left.

People do call you beautiful…
Now I believe it. There was this phase when things went wrong with Heyy Babyy and Kismat Konnection… I’ll always be grateful to all those movies because they brought that clarity. Otherwise, I’d have failed miserably. After those movies, I ended up doing Ishqiya, Paa and No One Killed Jessica. I simply responded to my instinct. The past few years have not been great professionally because my films have not worked. But I’m in a happy space. I won’t have it any other way. I feel grateful.

Go on…
I’m not saying that I didn’t go through the angst and analysis about why they didn’t work. What was I doing differently? I kept wondering about all the things that were told to me about marriage… that it hampers your professional life... I wondered, maybe, I had made a professional mistake by getting married. However, through it all, I always knew I wanted to be with this man (Siddharth Roy Kapur).

Did you share these thoughts with Siddharth?
Yeah, of course I told him. Not that marriage was a mistake but maybe it was true that married actresses don’t do well. And he’d keep telling me it’s not whether you’re married or not married; it’s about how the films turn out. I’d tell him but I’d made the right choices. Over time, I arrived at the understanding on my own that it’s not about the right choices. Sometimes you like the idea but the script doesn’t turn out as well and sometimes even a good script does not translate into a good film. So many variables go into making a film. So when it doesn’t work you can’t look just for one reason. Around that time Kareena’s (Kapoor Khan) Singham Returns released and it was a blockbuster. So I realised it was not about being married at all. Sometimes you just look for things to blame to make sense of your disappointments. But I was meant to go through this so that I don’t ever question my decision to marry or my choices again.

Historically, married actresses have always worked. There was Shobhna Samarth, Sharmila Tagore, Raakhee, Hema Malini, Kajol, Sridevi...
Yeah true. There was a time when actresses were women. So it was okay to be married. Then the heroine became a girl. When I joined I was already a woman. People kept telling me ‘your shelf life will be short; you have to do girly roles’. Which is why I attempted a movie like Kismat Konnection. But it flopped for me. Because I was never a girl. I was born a woman. But all that is behind me now. I’m just happy being an actor.

So are you a better wife or actress?
(Laughs) Better actress.

Would you recommend marriage to everyone?
No. It’s all about the person actually. You must find a person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. It’s a big decision. If you find the person, great. But if you don’t, it’s not the end of the world. I’m not the kind who will say you must try marriage.

Does being financially dependent make a difference in the marriage?
It definitely does. I keep telling this to the girl who works for me that whatever you earn, you have to keep aside something for yourself. That security is something else. I tell her do things for others but even if it’s just Rs 500, save it for yourself. Money is power. It gives you the strength to take right decisions.

Madhureeta Mukherjee (BOMBAY TIMES; November 15, 2017)

The one thing you can’t miss about Vidya Balan is her fullthrottled laughter. It comes from the heart and that’s what makes you laugh along. It’s just like the way she plays her roles, with abandon. Not a shade of compromise. Whether she’s playing Silk or Sulu, she unleashes herself on screen fearlessly, letting her characters live long after the movie is over. With a spring in her steps, she talks about her upcoming Tumhari Sulu, directed by Suresh Triveni. Over a long chat and sips of nariyal paani, she tells us about her past, the voice women currently need to have in society and how to deal with scums at work. Read on...

Lately, the characters that you have portrayed onscreen were deep, intense, and even melodramatic (Begum Jaan, Kahaani 2, Te3n). After long, we will see you play a role that’s cheerful and vivacious Sometimes, it is nice to play a character that is closer to you in reality, isn’t it?
When Suresh (Triveni, director) narrated the story to me, I could see every character come alive. I could see the whole film in front of me. Usually I deliberate over scripts; this one was an instant ‘Yes’! Imagine hearing a one-line narration of a story, where a homemaker lands herself a job as a late night RJ. It is such an interesting visual — here is this woman doing household chores all day and turning into an RJ by night… and sexily saying, ‘Hello!’ You don’t reconsile these changes together. The script made me happy; it was pulsating with life. I like to believe that I am a happy person but after a certain age (and for me, post films like Bobby Jasoos and Hamari Adhuri Kahani, I’ve observed that people can’t see the more humorous side of you, unless you are being made fun of. However, new-age filmmakers are not limit ed in their thinking.

Women are stereotyped far than men. For instance, women often get to hear comments like ‘Oh, you don’t look married’ or ‘You don’t look like a mom’. Women are supposed to fit into a certain ‘type’ depending on their age, their relationship status and the phase of life that they are in. Of course, we are gradually breaking those stereotypes…
Yes, at this point, even in cinema, a lot of stereotypes are being broken. For instance, hats off to Ayushmann Khurrana for accepting a role like the one in Shubh Mangal Saavdhan, in a country where people don’t talk about such issues even with their partners. Fortunately, Suresh doesn’t associate interesting and exciting only with young people. As a woman, I feel as exciting, desirable and sexy as I did years ago.

That has not changed with time. Age, is a huge stereotype in our society. Someone recently asked me whether I had got any ‘jobs’ done. She said, ‘Don’t you think that it is important for a female actor to keep looking young?’ I told her that why should I want to age myself down, as long as I am feeling good and looking good? At 38, I am playing a role that is suitable to my age. Five years ago, I didn’t imagine that I would do the kind of work that I am doing today. I am playing my age onscreen, because someone has written that role for me. I am hoping that with time, the roles that I do also become as exiting and grow in that sense. I am not judging anyone who has got jobs done. If it works for them, it is great. I am comfortable being my age and looking my age on screen. Even if I wanted to, I could never play a 20-year-old (laughs).

Don’t you think that in urban India, the stereotypical concept of the housewife has also undergone a change to some extent? The preferred and better term (rightly so) is homemaker…
I have a huge problem with this term ‘housewife’. What is the meaning of housewife? Does it mean she is a wife who sits at home? Most often, they feel undervalued, because we undervalue them. Women also feel that they don’t have an identity outside of their husband. With Tumhari Sulu, we have toppled that entire stereotype. So what if Sulu is wearing a sari and doing household chores, she is a woman who has this zest for life. If that is the life which a woman wants, it is her choice, why should we judge her for it?

You come from a middle-class family and you have seen a fairly different life before you became a movie star. Would you say that the value system you imbibed from your earlier days still has a strong influence on you?
Yes, I come from a middle class family and there were times when we didn’t have as much, but I never felt the lack of it. We were happy with what we had and it was a completely joyous childhood. Often, people ask me if I always wanted to live by the beach, and my answer is — No! I never even thought of moving out of my childhood house in Chembur. I never thought of driving fancy cars and living in a big house. All I knew was that I wanted to be an actor; I didn’t think of what else came with it. I guess that is my upbringing. I was taught not to designate a (material) value to everything… ki itna ho toh achha hai. We were told, ‘Let it happen, maybe you will get more than you can imagine.’ That is exactly what has happened and I am grateful for it. My sister and I shared the load of the housework (like cleaning and sweeping) with my mom on days when the domestic help didn’t turn up. I remember, one of my teachers in the fourth grade telling me that you should always appreciate your mother for what she does, especially when she is at home. We often take our moms for granted and think that this is what she is meant to do. I have heard so many people say this about women, ‘Din bhar toh ghar pe baithi rehti hai’. What does baithi rehti hai mean? Even women say that about themselves, ‘Ki main toh sirf housewife hoon.' I tell them, 'sirf housewife hoon ka kya matlab hai?' They get this feeling that what they do for the house has no value.

Recently, after the Harvey Weinstein case made headlines, there has been an outpour by women on social media. The campaign #MeToo caught on and women started talking about their personal experiences that have scarred them. It is just a small step and it goes to show how uncomfortable we still are while talking about these issues.
Yes, it’s because women have always been told that, ‘It’s your fault’. Women are told not to wear short skirts and go out. And if we do, we are told, agar kissi ne haath lagaya, toh jaake mat bolna. We are told that we are the temptresses and we have provoked the men. There have been instances where even in rape cases, the woman has been blamed. Often, when a marriage doesn’t work, the tendency is to question the woman. Of course, today things are changing. I know that in a lot of cases, families say things like, ‘She was not adjusting enough. She was more focused on her career’. Talking about this case (Weinstein), imagine this happening in Hollywood, where you would think that with the kind of success and power they have, the women wouldn’t keep quiet. If someone propositioned me, I would kick him where it hurts. I have never had that experience, but I will admit that I have always been on the cautious side. If I ever feel that someone is not giving me that comfortable vibe, I walk away from there. Coming from a family that had no film connections, I was always scared. Initially, when I had to audition for advertisements, my mom would accompany me. Later, when I started doing films, she realised that it’s about how you handle yourself and by then, I had a team with me (make-up and hair staff), so I felt comfortable. In the beginning, I was always wary; in fact, I would never socialize with people or make friends at work. I think it stemmed from the fear that maybe if you are too friendly, people would misconstrue it. You don’t want to be in a situation where you think that a man propositioned you because you were over-friendly or over-familiar. I remember what had happened with John Abraham and me. I would keep laughing a lot with him, and we got along very well. Eventually, everyone thought that we were having an affair. So, on set I am friendly, but beyond that I still don’t socialise much.

But you have dropped your guard a little, and over the years, you have made friends in the industry. You are seen at B-Town parties along with your hubby, Siddharth Roy Kapur…
Now, I am a little better, but it has taken me so many years as I was always on the guard. I was always looking behind my shoulder. Sometimes, you might think that a person likes you, but because you have heard all sorts of stories, you are wondering if he is out to exploit you. I know that now no will take those chances with me; hence, I’m more comfortable. I completely understand the insecurity of girls who want to work here. Fortunately, my survival was taken care of and I never had to think of giving up my dream and going back to where I came from, if I didn’t get a pay cheque every month. That’s a privilege. I have seen cases where people have behaved absolutely well with me, and then behaved nastily with other girls. I tell those girls that don’t keep quiet, usko suna do. If you don’t want to make it a big issue, at least usko bol do ki he is scum, and that you don’t want this kind of work. I am aware that when it comes to speaking up, there is always a fear lurking that agar naam kharaab ho gaya, then people will look at you as a troublemaker and they wouldn’t want to work with you. We have heard of instances where married superstars have had affairs with actresses and then the actresses have gone out of work, because the rest of the industry shuns them. I remember telling someone down South while working on my first film that I don’t need the money, I am happy to work for free, but I will work on my own terms.

Exactly, you have set your own rules in the industry, whether it is the roles you pick, who you choose to work with, the way you style yourself — all of it. Isn’t that tougher, as you have no one to blame for your failure or success? In a sense, you are on your own.
Yes, and I am fine with it. I feel very proud of the fact that I have done it without any one person furthering my career, or having to depend on anyone. I am grateful for the opportunities and the people that came into my life, as each of us is a medium or instrument in another’s life. I’ve seen success and failure, but it’s my passion for what I do and my faith in myself that has brought me so far.

Even in your weakest moment, say after a film didn’t fare well, did you ever think, ‘I wish I had done a film with a superstar, instead’?
No! I have never regretted my choices or hoped that I had gone about my career differently. I evaluated my choices and asked myself some questions, but I never felt that I should have taken any other route. There are lots of benefits of doing the kind of films that others do and probably their success is that much larger, but I am happy where I am.

One role that changed that way you looked at your career?
Films like Heyy Babyy and Kismat Konnection. These films did well, but I wasn’t good in them, I was a source of embarrassment.

Tumhari Sulu is a light-hearted film, but have you ever thought of doing an all-out, madcap comedy?
I don’t mind doing a madcap comedy, as long as I have enough to do in it. In Tumhari Sulu, I got to do comedy. In Shaadi Ke Side Effects, the comedy was more driven by Farhan Akhtar’s character. There is rarely enough for female actors in terms of comedy, as we are only being reactors in such movies.