Showing posts with label Tara Sharma interview. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tara Sharma interview. Show all posts
When your teen is moody or mean, it is then that he needs you the most-Tara Sharma
11:08 PM
Tara Sharma Saluja is an actor, TV host and entrepreneur. But her favourite role is being mommy to her boys, Zen and Kai. Now, the 45-year-old is playing a mom in reel life too — she will be seen as mother of Archie Andrews (Agastya Nanda) in Zoya Akhtar’s desi remake of the famous comic. A London School of Economics graduate, Sharma had given up a cushy job as a financial consultant to dabble in modelling. In 2011, she started a video blog as a new parent and later launched a talk show, ‘The Tara Sharma Show’, where she interviews celebrities about family and parenting. Sharma spoke to Sneha Bhura about being a soccer mom, dealing with teen tantrums and mompreneurship
Sneha Bhura (THE TIMES OF INDIA; November 5, 2023)
When and how did the transition from Bollywood to motherhood and entrepreneurship happen?
When I was pregnant with our older son who is now 14 (the younger one is 12), I stopped getting acting offers. It came to a point where I started wondering what I would do because I have always enjoyed working. My father said: ‘Don't sit and wait for the phone to ring. If you want to do something, create it’. I started thinking about the things I am passionate about. I wanted to be on screen. I enjoyed business. And I am passionate about being with my family and my kids. So, I thought why not combine these to create a show about the incredible journey of being a mom. The show was never intended to be patronizing, giving tips or tricks. It was more about just sharing and learning from each other — literally from cleaning babies' potty to giving them a bath to taking them on a long flight. It was a process of discovery with the audience. It's kind of like what Insta Stories now is except that this was on television.
It's almost like you invented the word mompreneur…
It's not like that. I remember when Kajol was a guest on Season 3, she spoke beautifully about how actually for generations, women have been working and multi-tasking. But these are words that we now use to credit ourselves, saying we are mompreneurs, we are working and looking after kids at the same time! A lot of my work happens from home so I used to wonder: Am I really working? But I realized I bring in brands, it is an advertiser funded program, I am earning and I am doing what I love so I shouldn't play down this space that I have created for myself.'
Today’s parents are very hands-on and have a gentler approach towards parenting. It is sometimes considered a form of self-healing — perhaps overcompensating for something they didn't have while growing up because maybe their own parents were strict. What’s your take?
I don't believe in generalizing. My parents were extremely involved and encouraging. I'm half Indian and half English (her mom is British). I am mentioning this because I think everyone's parenting style is a little different. My parents were always quite sporty and loved the outdoors. We often went on rough and tough trekking-like trips. I find we as parents are quite like that. Our kids are really into sports. I agree there's a lot more talk about this ‘gentle’ kind of parenting. But I think that's also perhaps a perception that has been built on social media. So, I don't know if the style has changed because I know, stereotypically, one wants to think that earlier generations were stricter. But again, it's a function of each family. Perhaps situations have also arisen where more people work from home, there is a bit more flexibility. Covid-19 has changed so much of how we live.
Your father, Pratap Sharma, was a well-known novelist and thespian. In this digital age, how do you ensure that your children don't lose touch with the joy of reading?
The reality is that gadgets and technology have come into our lives in a bigger way than we had access to. I come from a family of books. My father was well-known for his voice, an author and a playwright, and my mom writes too. My grandfather was a publisher. But honestly, I am not a very good reader. My husband (Roopak Saluja) reads a lot more. We encourage the kids to read but they don't read much. Something their school principal said makes a lot of sense. He said we need not just think of reading as picking up a physical book or a physical play. All forms of reading, whether it's articles on the internet or even something on Instagram, adds to our knowledge. While we try to inculcate a love for literature and the classics, I find that even a lot of my news consumption comes from social media. So I think when we talk about kids reading, we also need to rethink and recalibrate.
What, according to you, is the right age to give a phone to a child?
We have all been told that preferably the later you give the phone, the better. But one sometimes feels compelled to give the phone early on. I think Covid-19 accelerated our moving to tech. It was a very difficult time but what kept us all sane was that our kids had great online schooling. Of course, tragically, many children did not have that. Before the pandemic, our kids hardly had any screen time and then suddenly all kinds of interaction, including schooling, playdates, even birthday parties were online. You have to question why you are giving the phone. For example, our younger son plays semi-professional football. He often goes far away to play and we need to be in touch so he needs a phone. More than the rules, it's also explaining the values to the kids on how to use the phone. That if you have access to the internet, how to ensure you're not watching the wrong stuff. These are the things that one has to have conversations about quite early on. It is better to give them freedom but with the responsibility of how to handle it.
We have all been told that preferably the later you give the phone, the better. But one sometimes feels compelled to give the phone early on. I think Covid-19 accelerated our moving to tech. It was a very difficult time but what kept us all sane was that our kids had great online schooling. Of course, tragically, many children did not have that. Before the pandemic, our kids hardly had any screen time and then suddenly all kinds of interaction, including schooling, playdates, even birthday parties were online. You have to question why you are giving the phone. For example, our younger son plays semi-professional football. He often goes far away to play and we need to be in touch so he needs a phone. More than the rules, it's also explaining the values to the kids on how to use the phone. That if you have access to the internet, how to ensure you're not watching the wrong stuff. These are the things that one has to have conversations about quite early on. It is better to give them freedom but with the responsibility of how to handle it.
You have a teenager and a pre-teen. How are you coping with the tantrums?
I believe every phase of parenting is incredible in its own way. But I will say parenting teens is a whole different ball game. You are often unsure and all you can do is be there, give them the values that you feel are the right ones. Roopak and I work as a team. He's very much part of their parenting. I am often unable to discipline them; he is better at it. You have to give them independence and space. I am grateful that both our kids are very independent. We don't have a culture of 'you have to show me your homework when it's done'. And I know every child is different. It's okay to have fights, perhaps even to scream and shout. I'm guilty as charged of doing that. I think it's important for people to know that it's so normal. I have yet to know of a family where there are teenagers and they don't have shouts and fights or eye-rolling situations. I have been doing my show for 15 years and a lot of parents have been with me on this journey. Many say this phase is the most confusing one. It's no longer just about changing a nappy or managing a tantrum. But one thing that has helped me a lot is to know that even if a teenager is being mean to you or saying they don't want you around or is upset with you, this is often the time they need you most. This is something I keep reminding myself. Even if you're being yelled at or even if you're not feeling good about yourself, they need you.
One thing that I found very useful on my show through the seasons was having all kinds of inspirational persons from sports, among others, like Virat Kohli, Jasprit Bumrah, Sunil Chhetri and Rohit Sharma. Today, I listen to some of those chats and I use their advice. Chhetri told me his biggest competitor for football when he was a kid was his mother. I know how much we (Roopak and I) play football with the kids. While my younger son is playing intense football, the older one has taken to tennis. Each child is different, but a sport helps. We've always encouraged some music too; I grew up like that — some sports, music and academics. Both our kids play an instrument. And they love school, they have friends and we're learning as we go along.
Adolescents are quick to pick up on social media buzzwords and are often seen correcting their parents for not saying the right things or being out of sync with lingo and nomenclature.
Yes, our kids do sometimes think we're dinosaurs, as young as we may think we are! When it comes to "woke-ism" and being cool, of course as parents we're often told, "Oh God that's old fashioned" and "that's not right". And teenagers do have moods so sometimes those things are said in jest and sometimes, maybe not. But I think it's important to give them their space and much as we adore our kids it's important to have our own work and interests too. After a long time, I'm acting in a film — in Zoya Akhtar's 'The Archies'. It's only a small role. But my joke is that I am not Betty or Veronica but a mother!
All generations were very cool, but I think this generation of parents are exposed to so much more on social media and we are consuming and or have access to the same content as our children so we know some of their buzzwords and what's going on to an extent. Sometimes the kids tell me 'Mama, your YouTube channel is fine but if you really want viewership, you should get into gaming' (laughs). Kai is still okay with me attending his football matches, I am quite a soccer mom, but as a teen Zen is more inclined to say: 'Oh, you don't have to come, it's not necessary.'
How much is too much when it comes to ‘sharenting’ (sharing about kids) on social media?
When it comes to sharing, I think the safety of our kids is paramount. When I started my show, people asked: are you comfortable showing your babies on the screen? At that time, many parents would not. But for me, as a family, we had discussed it, and we were okay. The show started as a diary of a new mom. Authenticity and being real is intrinsic to it, so sharing was what made it real. But as the kids got older, we evolved the show into a platform where I chat with inspirational people who are bringing about positive change. We stopped having our kids in it as we didn't want to encroach on their privacy. So, I think it's a personal decision. As kids get older, their consent is important too.
When it comes to sharing, I think the safety of our kids is paramount. When I started my show, people asked: are you comfortable showing your babies on the screen? At that time, many parents would not. But for me, as a family, we had discussed it, and we were okay. The show started as a diary of a new mom. Authenticity and being real is intrinsic to it, so sharing was what made it real. But as the kids got older, we evolved the show into a platform where I chat with inspirational people who are bringing about positive change. We stopped having our kids in it as we didn't want to encroach on their privacy. So, I think it's a personal decision. As kids get older, their consent is important too.
Is there too much focus now on getting parenting right?
I don't think it's about getting it right. It's about doing the best we are able to do while living our own lives. Parenting is a part of our lives but it's not the only thing. I'm Tara, an actor, producer, entrepreneur, devoted mom, sports enthusiast — so many things. My kids are the centre of my life. But there's other stuff too. I don't think we're all in a race to parent right. We're all doing our best. All our parents tried to do the same. There's no generation that didn't try to be a good parent. I don't think it's unique to this generation.
I don't think it's about getting it right. It's about doing the best we are able to do while living our own lives. Parenting is a part of our lives but it's not the only thing. I'm Tara, an actor, producer, entrepreneur, devoted mom, sports enthusiast — so many things. My kids are the centre of my life. But there's other stuff too. I don't think we're all in a race to parent right. We're all doing our best. All our parents tried to do the same. There's no generation that didn't try to be a good parent. I don't think it's unique to this generation.
More and more moms are starting their own businesses from home. What advice would you like to give to mothers who are just starting out?
I would like to wish them luck. Mothers definitely are great multitaskers. I think that's something I definitely got better at once I became a mum. Also, I think it's also really important to define what success is for you. I always knew having a family, being healthy and happy is a priority. I have created work around my kids. I started my entrepreneurial venture out of what I value. If you are someone who's excellent at baking or designing clothes and you want to do it from home, that's great. You don't have to feel like 'Oh, I'm not as good as somebody who's got VC funding and become a huge millionaire'. It's really important to not constantly compare yourself to others. The best you can do is equip your kids with the right values and then let them captain their own ship. You are there to stand by, to support, to steer, but not to actually captain.
Children need to be vaccinated now-Tara Sharma
8:03 AM
Juhi Chakraborty (HINDUSTAN TIMES; June 20, 2021)
With the vaccination drive going on in full swing in the country, actor-host Tara Sharma Saluja wonders when children will get their turn. Noting how the third wave of Coronavirus may pose a bigger risk to kids, Saluja — mother of two boys, Zen (11) and Kai (9) — says as a parent, she has every reason to be worried.
“What happened here during the second wave has been very unfortunate. But, as we are coming through, children need to be vaccinated now,” she insists, adding, “The whole short term economics is important, but in the long run, we must remember children are the foundation of the country, and the way forward. I feel very strongly about this. There are worries about the third wave and children getting affected more. So, their vaccination process needs to be looked at soon.”
Asserting that getting the jab is the solution, Saluja says it is the only way children can be safeguarded from the deadly Coronavirus virus.
“In Canada, they are starting to vaccinate children. We should have a parallel vaccination drive, where kids are given the jab. They can get back to some form of normalcy,” she adds.
Given India’s population, the 44-year-old understands that the vaccination drive for adults will take time. However, she is quick to add, “That needs to be sped up. Health comes first, and by that, I mean health for all. Now, we have the opportunity to maybe import a lot of vaccines and get our kids vaccinated, too. Parents were relieved that in the first and second wave, kids were not infected. We can’t just sit and wait now.”
It’s been over a year since schools have been shut, and that’s another reason why Saluja feels vaccination for children is vital, so that schools can be reopened.
“All of last year, very little was discussed about children and education. Everybody was okay to say the elderly should be prioritised. My sister lives in the UK, and there, her children only missed one and a half months of physical classes,” she shares.
I've become more stylish ever since I've become a mum-Tara Sharma
8:23 AM
Doing a show that revolves around kids means Tara Sharma has the best of both worlds: she is with her kids as she works
Anju Maskeri (BOMBAY TIMES; October 24, 2014)
How do you keep busy these days?
I've been busy with my children, Zen and Kai and the third season of my TV show, The Tara Sharma Show, which will be telecast in November. It's a parenting show, that's written by me and co-produced by me and my husband Roopak Saluja's company. I also run after my prospective guests.
Now that you are making a comeback with your TV show, what is it that we can look forward to?
This season is going to be very exciting as we'll be discussing topical parenting issues. So, we have celebrity parents as well as regular parents and those who have faced several obstacles. It will be very inspirational.
How do you balance kids, home and a career?
We actually have an episode on this on our show; on working mums, mumpreneurs, which is a new term for people like me who have created work around their children. I realised quite early when my kids were little that I enjoy being a hands-on mum. But slowly I wanted to get back to work. I came up with this idea four years ago of creating my show, The Tara Sharma Show: Diaries Of A New Mum. The idea was to be non-patronising. I keep saying that I'm not an expert. I make mistakes as well, so maybe we can share our experiences and learn from each other.
Was it love at first sight with Roopak?
We met at a common friend's wedding. Sadly, those friends split, but they always say that the best thing that came out of their wedding was that we got together. At the wedding it was pretty much love at first sight. It was very exciting and Roopak is very romantic. We met at a time when both of us were ready for the right person.
So tell us about your sons, Zen and Kai. Who's the naughtier of the two?
Both of them are very naughty and very nice. And having two little boys who are less than two years apart in age, this house is like circus half the time. And now, we have added a puppy to the circus and it's full action. People ask me how I'm in shape and I think running after them keeps me fit.
What is your style mantra like?
I've become more stylish ever since I've become a mum. I've been experimenting a lot with my wardrobe and look and I'm really enjoying it.
You don't look like a mother of two. What's the secret to your fitness?
For me, the mantra is about consistency and quality. I've been running and doing yoga since I was in school. While earlier it was for an hour or more, now it's only for 15 minutes, but I've been consistent and that's worked for me. In my case it's a mix of genes, metabolism and just being balanced.
Any message for your follo'ers?
Thank you Follo'ers. The only reason that I can create what I create is because of you. I am very active on social networking sites sand I don't let my team do anything. One of the things that my late father taught me is that if what you want to do doesn't exist, create it. Always reinvent yourself, never stagnate. Usually, when you get married and have kids, roles dry up. You can easily start feeling like a flop. Having kids has been the biggest inspiration of my life. It made me creative and I do what I love doing. I'm grateful to my follo'ers because the encouragement comes from them.
I've been busy with my children, Zen and Kai and the third season of my TV show, The Tara Sharma Show, which will be telecast in November. It's a parenting show, that's written by me and co-produced by me and my husband Roopak Saluja's company. I also run after my prospective guests.
Now that you are making a comeback with your TV show, what is it that we can look forward to?
This season is going to be very exciting as we'll be discussing topical parenting issues. So, we have celebrity parents as well as regular parents and those who have faced several obstacles. It will be very inspirational.
How do you balance kids, home and a career?
We actually have an episode on this on our show; on working mums, mumpreneurs, which is a new term for people like me who have created work around their children. I realised quite early when my kids were little that I enjoy being a hands-on mum. But slowly I wanted to get back to work. I came up with this idea four years ago of creating my show, The Tara Sharma Show: Diaries Of A New Mum. The idea was to be non-patronising. I keep saying that I'm not an expert. I make mistakes as well, so maybe we can share our experiences and learn from each other.
Was it love at first sight with Roopak?
We met at a common friend's wedding. Sadly, those friends split, but they always say that the best thing that came out of their wedding was that we got together. At the wedding it was pretty much love at first sight. It was very exciting and Roopak is very romantic. We met at a time when both of us were ready for the right person.
So tell us about your sons, Zen and Kai. Who's the naughtier of the two?
Both of them are very naughty and very nice. And having two little boys who are less than two years apart in age, this house is like circus half the time. And now, we have added a puppy to the circus and it's full action. People ask me how I'm in shape and I think running after them keeps me fit.
What is your style mantra like?
I've become more stylish ever since I've become a mum. I've been experimenting a lot with my wardrobe and look and I'm really enjoying it.
You don't look like a mother of two. What's the secret to your fitness?
For me, the mantra is about consistency and quality. I've been running and doing yoga since I was in school. While earlier it was for an hour or more, now it's only for 15 minutes, but I've been consistent and that's worked for me. In my case it's a mix of genes, metabolism and just being balanced.
Any message for your follo'ers?
Thank you Follo'ers. The only reason that I can create what I create is because of you. I am very active on social networking sites sand I don't let my team do anything. One of the things that my late father taught me is that if what you want to do doesn't exist, create it. Always reinvent yourself, never stagnate. Usually, when you get married and have kids, roles dry up. You can easily start feeling like a flop. Having kids has been the biggest inspiration of my life. It made me creative and I do what I love doing. I'm grateful to my follo'ers because the encouragement comes from them.
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