While I was unaware that Shaheen Bhatt was suffering from depression, I had started to sense something was not right. I had asked her if there was something that she wanted to speak to me about. Shaheen took a year before telling me that she needed help. She said, “I’m not as happy as I would like to be. I can be in a better phase, and I think I need help to get there.” It was not just sadness or a feeling of listlessness or being lazy or unmotivated – it was much more serious than that. She couldn’t stop crying; she didn’t want to come out of her room. Such things are very scary for a parent. But I kept reassuring her that we will seek help and we consulted an expert.

The treatment for mental health issues is not ‘one size fits all’. There are trials and errors in the process, and myriad coping mechanisms involved. In that process you consult different experts who offer different perspectives, advice, and help. Recognising that you are suffering from an illness and seeking help is just the beginning of the journey of mental well-being.

Shaheen has had to go through her own struggle to find the right treatment. I was just being a proactive parent and giving her the support she needed.

My advice to parents is that if your child says that they are not feeling alright, take your child to a doctor. It might be nothing, but chances are that it could be something that they are dealing with emotionally. We, as parents, have to create an environment where our kids feel comfortable opening up to us since a young age. Mental illness is not a taboo and there should be no shame in talking about it, or seeking help.

In a chat, Shaheen Bhatt spoke to us about what it means to be depressed, how people can help in such situations and the need to normalise the conversation. Excerpts:

Depression restricts your ability to effectively communicate. It curbs your ability to love and be loved. Ironically, you need this the most when you are going through depression. All you can do as a loved one is to be present and assure the person that you are there for them. That’s what my family does for me. It’s also important to consult professionals if you think that someone you know is going through something. As someone who has faced depression, it helps to know that someone is there for you.

The only way to acknowledge or normalise something is to have a conversation, no matter how uncomfortable it gets. I often get asked this question in context to corporates dealing with mental health issues of their employees. If you lead by example, people will feel comfortable talking about it. Unfortunately influential people rarely talk about it much. Depression and mental illness have always been around. With more people and means of communication, we hear about it frequently now.

It’s incredibly hard to pinpoint why a person is depressed. It’s a chemical imbalance that can be caused by so many things. For me, it was a chemical component that kicked it off, but it progressively became more psychological. Statistics show that every person, at some point in their life, is likely to face some version of mental illness to a certain degree.

Major warning signs of depression could be changes in your sleep pattern and appetite. You will either sleep a lot or sleep too little. You will either eat too little or eat a lot. In my case, I started binge eating and slept very little. I had terrible insomnia. Persistent low mood that stays for at least two weeks is another warning sign, as is loss of energy. Trust your instincts. If you feel something is wrong, something could be wrong. It’s always worth investigating.