Shah Rukh Khan on his idea of romance, giving undivided attention to his next, the connection between stardom and innate goodness, and why his younger son AbRam makes for the best travel companion
Roshmila Bhattacharya (MUMBAI MIRROR; December 12, 2018)

He is expected to arrive around 9.30 pm. I’m on my way to Mehboob Studio a little before 9 pm, when I get a frantic call informing me that Shah Rukh Khan is already there. Later, he jokes that he took everyone by surprise by arriving on time. The interactions are expected to continue till around 2 am after which he plans to meet his Zero director Aanand L Rai who has been, for days, working all nights on the film’s post-production. It’s going to be a long night’s work but that’s routine for SRK, who settles down on the sofa in his vanity van and turns expectantly. Excerpts from an interview:

In our first conversation about Zero, Aanand L Rai had confided that he wanted to take the biggest superstar and cut his height by a couple of feet. How did he present the idea to you?
Aanand with Himanshu (writer Himanshu Sharma) came to meet me late one night with a one-page story idea. He narrated the opening sequence which had the dialogue, “Gutka khate ho gapagap, sperm chhota padh gaya tumhara, aur kya!” and I was instantly hooked. It wasn’t important that the character was vertically challenged because when I was acting, I wasn’t four foot tall. On screen, I often don’t recognise myself because Bauua is so different from me but it makes me happy as an actor. What I liked was that here’s a person who’s aware that maybe he is not the most complete of them all, yet he doesn’t give a damn what the world thinks of him. (Smiles) That’s the best way to be, particularly in today’s world where everybody is telling you how you should be or shouldn’t be.

My mom wanted me to become an actor but three-four people from Mumbai whom we knew well told her I’d never become one because I wasn’t good-looking enough. She was hurt but it didn’t bother me because all I wanted to do was act and I assured her “main kaam karta rahunga”. At that point I wasn’t interested in films, I was doing well on stage. Then, TV happened and, 30 years later, I’m a poster boy!

You just have to believe in what you want to do despite what others may think of you or even if you yourself feel the lack of something, material or otherwise. Through Bauua, Anushka’s (Sharma) Aafiya and even Katrina’s (Kaif) Babita, who is emotionally incomplete in this flight of fantasy, we want to convey the message that this is how God made us and since we have just one life, let’s live it to the fullest.

You’ve always come across as a confident person. Is there something that makes you feel incomplete as a person?
Everything! But I don’t think of weakness or fallibility as a shortcoming. I have never been confident but at the same time, I’ve never felt bereft of something. This is who I am and my best quality is that I can tell people I don’t know certain things. Even now I tell all my heroines, even the younger girls, that I can’t dance and that they should either stand in front of me or hold my hand. When Aanand would ask me how I wanted to do a certain scene, I’d admit I had no idea and asked him to share if he had one.

I’m very emotional and sensitive to people unless I am angry, then I don’t give a damn. And if people are insensitive to me, I grow very quiet and go away. My wife and children know my weaknesses so even if they know something is crap, they will tell me so gently because I get a little taken aback by directness. When the kids were young, Gauri would tell them, “Don’t talk like this, papa gets disturbed.”

What disturbs you?
When it’s family, I’m not offended by anything. But sometimes I get hurt if they refuse a simple thing. I don’t ask for much.

Has your sensitivity ever been misread?
Sometimes because of it, I may come across as a little formal as a younger actor pointed out when I called to ask his permission to use a shot taken at the Filmfare Awards. Since he wasn’t aware that he was being filmed, I thought it was only decent and dignified to ask him. He was very sweet.

Stardom comes with a lot of responsibility. How difficult is it to be good to people all the time?
I’ve never thought of stardom and goodness as being mutually exclusive. You are either good, or you’re not. I’m always nice to people. When I’m with people, I love them, and when I’m alone, I love myself. If you’re my friend, you are always in my heart and I’ll be there just in case, though I hope it never happens that you need me. But I don’t have any social etiquette.

I can’t be ‘in touch’, chat and text. I don’t take phone calls, I don’t answer messages properly and I’m okay if you don’t either. My family and best friends understand that I love them and that when I’m on my own time, I’m gone. But it can offend some people who take it as lack of love.

Being a star has never influenced who I am and how I behave. I’m awkward doing and saying a lot of things in real life, but I’ll do it in a movie if the character demands it. The only thing I still can’t do is address someone as “Tu.” I request the director to change it to “Tum.”

Ever since Aryan entered his teens there’s been a lot of talk about him being groomed for stardom. And now Suhana is catching the eye with her performances on stage. What is it like to have two growing actors in the family?
Neither my son nor my daughter have been groomed to be actors. Suhana has an inclination towards wanting to be an actor. She finishes school in six months after which she will go to an educational institute for three-four years to train in acting. Aryan doesn’t want to be an actor, he wants to make films, become a director, and is training for it in the US. AbRam I don’t know, he’s good-looking enough to be a rock star.

Gauri and I never told our kids that they have to grow up to be actors. People around would say handsome hai, tall hai, body achcha hai, but if looks were a criterion, I’d never have been an actor. Genetics too has nothing to do with capability. If I can be of help as someone with 30 years of experience in the field, I will, but I don’t think I should because acting is not just a job, it has to be a turn-on every second. It is about how happily, longingly, desperately and crazily you want to act. Don’t do it if you only want to wear good clothes, look nice and drive flashy cars. Get into banking then, it’s much safer!

You’ve got into the habit of going off on little vacations with AbRam…
My other two kids were not so social but AbRam enjoys spending time with my friends and me. Once Gauri dropped him off at Mehboob Studio for an hour. Now, he’s happy to come here, watch movies, play football, play with the cat and hens… He doesn’t need you to be with him. He goes to sleep at 9 pm, wakes up early and if we’re in London, wants to go to Hyde Park to play. If I can accompany him, great. If not, he’s okay!

He’s an easy and happy traveller and since I get lonely on long outdoors, I enjoy his company. During the shoot of Jab Harry Met Sejal, Gauri dropped him off for four days. He stayed on for 32 days, going with me to the Netherlands, Portugal and Hungary. In Hungary, we had a party one night, and since the production guys had always seen him with me, they cordoned off a portion of the nightclub we were visiting as a no-drinking kid zone and invited him along. He was happy to play there and dance with Anushka. He’s a cool kid!

You’ve been a romantic hero since Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge. What’s your personal take on love?
I believe it’s a fuller, more complete word for respect. If I respect your space and still encroach it, if you can respect my individuality and can still be a couple with me, then that’s love. And the beauty of love is that you don’t need to ask for it, demand it or beg for it, it flows naturally. If you are in a relationship where respect even when unasked is given, it’s love. Otherwise it’s liking, which is also nice, or companionship which is brilliant.

There’s been speculation that you have given the nod to the Rakesh Sharma biopic, Saare Jahan Se Achcha, and Sanjay Leela Bhansali too is planning a film with Salman and you…
I talk about my film when I’m making one, if I haven’t made it yet, there is no point in speaking about it as it only misleads. Apart from these two you mentioned, there are six other films that I have heard, some really exciting stuff. But it’s only after I’ve finished Zero, that I can take a call on my next as only then can dates and casting can be locked. For the moment I just want to stay with this film and have requested everyone else to give me some time.

Saare Jahan Se Achcha I’ve heard, it’s beautiful, I’d love to do it and I will, eventually. But the timing has not been decided and it is nice to announce a film with the whole cast and crew. Sanjay and I have been talking about a film for the last two years but not specifically about this one. I’d love to work with him again but since nothing is specified yet, it obviously means Sanjay is not ready yet and it will take us some more time.

I’ve spoken to Aanand about another film, but he’s not even done with Zero yet, how will he start a new film. There is another idea that I’ve really liked which someone narrated to me. Some friends wanted to announce a film eight-nine months ago, but I convinced them to hang on as I wanted to give Zero all my time for now. So, at this point I don’t have another film to talk about.

Did you watch Rakesh Sharma on TV when he responded to then-PM, Indira Gandhi’s question about how India looked from space with the unforgettable words, “Sare jahan se achcha Hindustan hamara”?
I did, growing up, he was one of my biggest heroes, along with Milkha Singh and Sunil Gavaskar. It was an amazing moment which gave us a sense of what an Indian could achieve at a time when our space programme wasn’t as strong as it is now. In fact, a lot of people still think he went to the moon rather than into space.

It was endearing to see you shake a leg with Gauri to the tunes of “Dilliwali Girlfriend” at the Ambani pre-wedding celebrations. But someone changed the song to “Paisa Pheko Tamasha Dekho” online and trolls got into action.
I do what I feel like doing and it’s made me the person I am. I have never worked for an image. If someone does something mischievous and others are stupid enough to believe this is the asli song, God bless them. We’re in the nascent stage of social media and there are many who don’t know that such things can be done. There’s a need for video literacy not just in India but in the US too.

How do you react to such mischief?
You can feel bad about it, but you have to accept that social media is a virtual social reality. What I don’t get is people trying to be socially relevant by saying you shouldn’t say this or that. You have to retain your sense of humour and not take such criticism too seriously. In the end, it’s each to their own. If someone gets a kick out of doing this, you have to live with it. I’m not going to reply to a message on it or clarify because I know which song I danced to. And my knowledge is more important than someone else’s take. I have a system in place. If I go to a party and there are three groups, one gossiping, a second abusing people and a third discussing films, I’ll join the third group. On social media too, I alienate myself from the gossips and gaalis, block trolls, and express myself the way I wish.

You said earlier that you can’t dance but you were in sync with your wife.
My wife trained with Shaimak Davar and his young dancers were with us that evening too. She was dancing on stage after 10-20 years, it was very sweet of her. I don’t rehearse with my heroines, but this time I practised my steps backstage. (Laughs) With the wife you have to, especially if she is a trained dancer.

Nayandeep Rakshit (DNA; March 15, 2018)

Shah Rukh Khan has broken several norms and proved that an outsider, too, can make it big in the film industry. Yet, early on in his life, the superstar faced the biggest hiccup of his life — the sudden loss of his parents. Rani Mukerji, whose next film Hichki talks about overcoming the obstacles in one’s life, has been asking prominent personalities to share their untold weaknesses with the public and explain how they transformed them into their strengths.

Shah Rukh, who is a good friend of the Chopras, reveals, “My greatest hichki moment is the death of my parents. I was 15 when my father died and 26 when my mother passed away. We were not financially well off, and I was pursuing my Masters degree then. The empty house without my parents used to come to bite us (my sister and me). The loneliness, pain, and sadness of the loss of both my parents, could have been overwhelming enough to take over my life wholly. I decided to overcome this moment by letting acting fill up my entire life.”

He adds, “I never let go of the pain, but I used it to focus completely on acting. People close to me will tell you that acting is my window of manifesting these overwhelming emotions. I always say this — one morning, when I wake up, I will realise that I have spent all these emotions and now have nothing more to give (as an actor). Otherwise, death is a hiccup from which there is no coming back. I realised that and therefore, overcame it by giving my work, my all. God might bring a hiccup to you in this life, but He will also give you multiple ways to deal with it. I could find my family (the love and sense of belonging) among my friends and colleagues in the film industry again.”

The actor talks about the role that strong and beautiful women have played in shaping his life -in reality and on screen
Madhureeta Mukherjee (BOMBAY TIMES; January 19, 2017)

Seema Sinha (BOMBAY TIMES; July 3, 2014)