For actor Nimrat Kaur, Diwali embodies the warmth of home and the essence of Delhi. “From childhood, my association with Diwali has always been about being home — surrounded by my maa, my nani and if my sister is free, her as well. There is no Diwali for me without being at home,” Kaur says, adding, “I’d never want to celebrate Diwali away from home.”

When asked how her family celebrates the festival of lights, Kaur describes it as a “simple affair” at home. The festivities kick off with pre-Diwali shopping, the house is beautifully adorned and everyone dresses to impress.

“After lighting all the candles and diyas post-puja and having an early dinner, we usually take a drive to see how other homes are decorated,” she says.

Regarding outfits, Kaur shares, “My mum always says, ‘Sohni tarah tayyar hona hai’. She insists that I wear something she approves of since we take family photos to share with friends.”

Her favourite Diwali tradition? “I love making rangoli... Everyone looks forward to my creations,” she says, adding, “Another cherished tradition is my nani ji making gud ke chawal. At almost 90, she still maintains the traditions.”

Reflecting on her childhood celebrations, Kaur, whose father, Major Bhupinder Singh, SC, served in the Army, says, “Growing up in cantonments, our Diwali was quite simple... My dad would buy crackers for us. It used to be a low-key yet sweet celebration.”

On the 72nd birth anniversary of Major Bhupinder Singh, SC, Nimrat Kaur attended the unveiling ceremony of his bronze statue in his birthplace, Sri Ganganagar, Rajasthan. “It’s a memorial that honours 12 other martyrs, and it’s named after my dad. This Diwali is extra special for that reason. It’s a really important life event for us. We’ve been dreaming of this for the last three decades — doing something in his birthplace,” she tells us.

Major Singh was abducted by state enemies on January 17, 1994 and martyred on January 23, 1994. He was posthumously awarded the Shaurya Chakra on March 13, 1994 — a date that coincidentally falls on Kaur’s birthday.

Flying in a day before Diwali, Nimrat Kaur ensured she was home in time as she couldn’t miss her annual Diwali duty of making rangoli. From the moment she arrived back in Noida at her nani’s place until Diwali evening, it was her sole focus.

She shares, “I arrived a day before Diwali, and my first agenda upon reaching home was to gather mate rials for making rangoli. Making rangoli at my nani’s house is my annual Diwali tradition.”

She continued, “This year, in the evening, we went out for dinner and visited the Gurudwara in sector 18 in Noida. We lit candles, had prasad. During the short drive from my home to the Gurudwara, it was so nice to see how people had lit up their homes. In between, I enjoyed my favourite pista barfi throughout the day.”

Last year, she was shooting for her film, so she couldn’t be home. She shares, “Last year, when I was shooting for my film (Sajini Shinde Ka Viral Video) in Pune, I felt very sad that I couldn’t come home on Diwali. I was really craving to be with my mum and my nani. So, I had to be at home this year. I wasn’t able to come as early as I would have liked to, so by the time I arrived, most of the work was already done. Diwali is a time when, more than doing anything, you want to be around your family.”

She adds, “The day after Diwali, I was having a conversation with my mum and nani in the morning, and they said, ‘Diwali becomes special when ghar ka koi bachha aa jaye.’ For them, the festival is special because the youngsters of the family are home to celebrate. I think it is very important to be present.”

For Nimrat, Diwali means unconditional joy. She says, “Before coming to my nani’s place in Noida, I had put up lights at my place in Mumbai. There is something about the runup to Diwali which is really precious. What I really love (about this festival) is the collective happiness and joy.”

Commenting on attending multiple pre-Diwali parties and events in Mumbai, Nimrat says, “The people with whom we have work connections are also kind of a family that one is creating. Family is not limited to blood relations. Sometimes, the management part becomes a bit tricky because you get very little time for yourself. It comes at the cost of little sleep and not feeling rested, but I think it is a very small price for the love you receive. I get recharged with that love. With my film release and people talking about it, it has been a great time from the end of September.”

Last month, Nimrat was in Delhi for promotions of her film but she couldn’t visit home, so she had called my mother to the hotel. Nimrat shares, “She sat through my film’s press con, and she was recording me the whole time. That was really, really sweet. It was like school when you are on stage performing, and your parents are watching; it took me back to school. It was so cute.”

Recently, Nimrat Kaur wrapped up the schedule of her upcoming film Dasvi in Noida. The actress, who is returning to Bollywood after five years with this film, has shot in various locations in India and abroad during the course of her career. However, this was the first time she shot in her hometown, Noida. She spoke to us about how it felt to be back home, to have her family on set and the experience of shooting post-pandemic.

While shooting in Noida, Nimrat says she was hit by a sudden realisation — “I thought, ‘Oh God! I have shot everywhere in the country, but I have never shot in Delhi or Noida!’ It’s actually a mystery to me, how all these years I never shot for any film, series, or even an ad, in Noida. We have lived there for over 26 years now. It is my hometown. I have done my schooling there and my family still lives there. So, filming in Noida was an amazing experience,” she tells us, adding that the icing on the cake was having her folks on set. “These are such extraordinary times, and so it feels amazing to even be shooting. What makes it even better is to be doing that in my home town with my family visiting me on set,” she adds.

Since this was the first time her family was ever visiting a film set, Nimrat says their reactions were a sight to behold.

Nimrat adds, “As I was shooting in Noida for the first time, I was like they must come on set, as they have never seen me shoot before. It was so lovely. I was so amused to see their reactions. They had no idea how much hard work goes into shooting, how many times one has to repeat their lines, and how things keep disrupting shots — like flies, the heat or somebody’s phone going off. My mother very innocently said, ‘I thought it was like a play, and you just watch’ (laughs!). I was like, ‘it’s nothing like a play’. She couldn’t believe that there were so many people involved in the process. It was so hilarious for me. My folks loved it, and we all had a wonderful time.”

Talking about shooting amidst the Coronavirus pandemic, Nimrat says, “This shoot was pending for the last three months, and I was just waiting to come back to it. Most of us are vaccinated and everybody is doing what they can to be safe. I feel that while we should not throw caution to the wind, at the same time, one needs to try to come back to some form of normalcy, and we can see everyone the world over trying to do the same.”

Has the pandemic changed the set in any way, apart from enforcement of safety protocols? Nimrat says, “Everyone is careful on set. People are not chit-chatting. You do your work and you are back in your vanity van. Work-wise, nothing can change on a film set, but we miss hanging around and the social part of the shoot. However, we have to be careful." 

Nimrat Kaur, 33, is self made, sensitive, brutally honest, non diplomatic, adventurous and fiercely private, but she can also be short-tempered. She may put up a strong independent good girl image in front of her mother, but in reality, she is emotionally dependent on her. Ahead of her first big film Airlift opposite Akshay Kumar, she opens up her heart to Bombay Times. Excerpts from our conversation.

You became a star with The Lunchbox. Tell us about your background?
I am a sardarni and was born in Pilani, Rajasthan, but my father was in the army, so we travelled everywhere. I changed schools and friends every 2-3 years, so I find it very fascinating when people tell me that they have lived in the same house for 30-40 years. As an army child, you don't have the luxury of throwing tantrums and you learn to make good with what you have. It makes you into an adjusting person. My father was very intelligent as he never put us in army schools till he was alive. He wanted us to study in convents or public schools as he wanted us to also be exposed to the civilian life not protected by the army. Since I was academically strong, I was fortunate to get admissions to schools in every city.

Is there a city where you feel a sense of belonging?
Patiala. I was there for very important 3-4 years of my life. I remember every thing about Patiala. There was a market called AC market, which had an escalator so I would keep going up and down on a loop. That was the first time I had been on an escalator. Patiala for me is Punjab, very endearing. It was also the last time that we were all there as a family with my father before he went to Kashmir. He was a young army major, an engineer posted on the border roads of the army in a place called Verinag (if you travel to Srinagar from Jammu, there is a tunnel called Jawahar Tunnel that comes on the way. And the first valley after that is Verinag). Kashmir was not a family station, so we continued living in Patiala when he went to Kashmir. We were on our winter vacation in January 1994 and visiting our father in Kashmir, when the Hizb-ul-Mujahideen kidnapped him from his place of work and after seven days, terminated him. They had made some ridiculous demands of some terrorists to be released that he obviously did not agree to. He was just 44 when he died. We got the news and flew back with his body to Delhi and I saw his body for the first time only in Delhi. We then moved to Noida and lived with my nana-nani for a few months before my mother bought her own place (with my father's pension money and our savings) and we moved out. We never went back to Patiala again except after a few months to pick up our luggage. The government gave us a piece of land in Rajasthan and my father was posthumously awarded the Shaurya Chakra.

How difficult was the transition for you post moving to Noida?
There was extreme discomfort. My life had turned upside down. I had no idea of what to take up and how to address life. My nana nani became my surrogate parents. But my mum is very strong and that helped us pick up the pieces and start a new life. And her spirit was always about moving forward and never about self-pity. I finished schooling from DPS Noida, did my BCom Honours from SRCC and then, I just knew that I could study no more. I am told that right from when I was just 40 days old, I had started imitating my nanaji. And imitation is the first seed of acting, they say. I have always loved being on stage. At school, I loved reactions and would make up stories just to get reactions. It was a tough decision, but I got a portfolio clicked from a family friend and just moved to Mumbai post college. I made multiple sets of my pictures and roamed around and gave my pictures to every production house. For nine years, I did a lot of modelling but felt no sense of belonging. So then I started to watch plays. And figured people I wanted to work with and did a play with Sunil Shanbag. Ritesh Batra, director of The Lunchbox, was looking for a new face and had heard about me as an actor and I got chosen for the role that changed my life.

Who do you love the most in the world?
My mother. She is everything to me and is really the strength in my bones. Everything I am today is because of her faith and her courage to let me do what I wanted to do. She is a proud mother today.

What does your mother like the most about you?
That I don't trouble her. I think she would like the fact that I am absolutely independent and that I have not needed anyone to make things happen for me. I think I remind her of my father. I am told that I have a lot to do with how he was as a person. He was a people's person, he would make anyone comfortable right away, even if you met him for half a minute. I speak like him. The way I lead my life, my principles, my morals of not cheating anyone ever, to keep things clear and honest. It's actually difficult for me to lie and I have no tolerance for hypocrisy.

Do you miss your father?
I have been different from outside and very different from inside when it comes to exhibiting your emotions. I miss him dearly more and more with age. I wish that he was around for me, specially at times when you achieve something in school and you want to turn around and show him that. There have been many many times like that when I have missed him in the last 3-4 years when things have really changed for me, when my life had changed, my career had taken a different turn.

Have you been in love?
Yes I have, a few times, but never with a film star. I have not been in a relationship since I did The Lunchbox.

You are working with Akshay Kumar for the first time in Airlift.
Akshay has been very exciting to work with for someone like me. I have actually grown up watching his films and literally to act with him, I have already had many out-of-body moments even though they are now settling down a bit. He has been fantastic to work with, so grounded and so funny. He is so Punjabi, so lovely and so warm. He is that person who will make sure everybody is comfortable and not star-struck. I am absolutely charmed by him. Forget being a girl, I have seen even men being rosy-eyed with him.

Which was the lowest period in your life?
Has to be my father's death. My life changed. It was not a financial threat. But that life that I had lived with those orderlies, those army cars went away overnight. It was difficult moving to a civilian life. In the army, you are living in a shell and that's why my father never sent me to an army school. You are used to three sevadars around you and suddenly, there are no army get togethers, so to just adjust to the new life without any fauji kids for friends was tough. I was undergoing puberty that time and that compounded my agony. But the army stands by you like a rock. They are your family and even today, they will come at the drop of a hat if you need something and they will do anything for you. I also think it's to do with my father's goodwill and his relationship with people. Coincidentally, he got awarded the Shaurya Chakra on my birthday, March 13. (His name is now written as Bhupinder Singh SC, SC standing for Shaurya Chakra). I remember my The Lunchbox premiered in Cannes and I immediately went back to Kashmir in June for the first time after my father's death. I could sense that my life was going to shift in a big way and I wanted to go back to Kashmir for my closure and I did. I spent 10 days there all alone. I went to Verinag (there's a point there dedicated to my father). I came back and got a tattoo done on my wrist which reads, 'Zenab', meaning a father's precious jewel that brings glory to his name.