Eijaz Khan finds acting cathartic. It helps him deal with childhood issues and nurse a broken heart. Facing the camera also makes him forget - though momentarily - his pain, as it lets him live “someone else's life“. In an interview with BT, the actor, who is still not over his break-up with Canadian multilingual singer Natalie Di Luccio, opened up about matters of love and labour. Read on...

These days, we don't see you enough on TV...
That's because I get bored. At 40, your work should excite you. It's pointless going through the process if the passion is missing. I am spending time with my father. It's not that I am not working. Since this is the only work that pays me, I come back whenever I am broke. But, it's not just about making money anymore.

Do you feel insecure seeing so many new faces in the industry?
I am happy that so many people want to act. I won't call them actors though. You don't become an actor by hitting the gym. Such people don't want to be actors; they want to be stars.

Your Bollywood career didn't shape up the way you must have expected after Tanu Weds Manu...
I agree. Probably, nobody recognised me as a Sardar. In hindsight, it's a blessing that people only saw the character and not me. It means I delved deep into the character. But TV doesn't require that. In fact, in the television industry, people ask me why I want to go deep into a character. Well, I am not a dumb actor. I will ask questions about my role so that I can deliver to the best of my abilities. I wouldn't have lasted had I not been like this. TV has become a medium to make money and money corrupts me. It's too late to change my approach and thinking. I am basically laid-back and believe that I will get what I deserve.

Why did your relationship with Natalie end?
We were two amazing people at different phases in our lives. The root cause of our relationship falling apart was my psyche. It started going downhill during Laut Aao Trisha. I played a dark character, who turns bitter after losing his wife and daughter. Somewhere, the lines blurred between real and reel and our relationship suffered. I had to undergo therapy for depression, and it made me realise that I was superimposing my childhood memories to play the part. I also realised that all my issues are deeply rooted in my childhood. I had unresolved issues with my parents after they parted ways. My aunts took turns to look after me. I never had a strong bond with my parents. I was always looking for someone to hold on to, some sort of an anchor.

Coming back to Natalie, we remain cordial. I never loved anybody like I loved her - like a child, my equal, a friend, travel partner. I don't think it was right for me to expect Natalie to give her precious time to our relationship. I would have also advised her to focus on her career if I were her family. I am the only person who knows the real Natalie. After she left, I was very disturbed to the point of not wanting to live anymore. I would lock myself up in my room for days on end. As actors, we are emotionally fragile. On top of that, we men are expected to be macho and strong, no matter how broken we are inside.

Has therapy helped you?
I won't say I am at peace, but I have started directing my energies towards my goal. That eases me out. I am in turmoil when I am not working, as I have to live with myself.

You put your career on hold when you were in the relationship...
Natalie didn't ask me to. I invested my time, energy and happiness in her without being asked. Love and respect make my world go round. I become the best person for my partner. I give so much expecting the same or more in return - it doesn't stem from self-respect, it stems from insecurity. I have abandonment issues. If I love somebody, I need to be loved back. But overwhelming your partner is not right. I won't mind putting my career on the backburner if my partner wants me to stay at home and take care of the child. I am an actor and can return to the field whenever I want.

What do you think about love and marriage?
I am not averse to the idea, but I am not looking forward to it either. I can't go through the trauma of losing someone again.

Sonu Nigam grabbed eyeballs earlier this week when he disguised himself as a poor man and sang on the streets of Mumbai without being recognized as part of a social experiment. The video in question was to check out if the city that never sleeps would pause for a moment to listen to an old and impoverished singer. Now, Mirror has learnt that he is all set to launch another video which will feature his friends from Bollywood besides a surprise performance by his eight-yearold son Nevaan. Among the B-town A-listers is Munnabhai, 3 Idiots and PK director Rajkumar Hirani.

A source associated with the project confirmed the news, saying, “Yes, the star-studded video will feature Raju Hirani playing himself. It's just a one-scene appearance with an interesting part in which Raju tells Sonu that the sets are grand, the video great but it lacks soul and Sonu needs to bring in some innocence. That paved the way for Nevaan's entry.“ The filmmaker agreed to face the camera because of the great equation he shares with Sonu.

Director-choreographer Farah Khan and singer-composer Kailash Kher will also be seen in fun roles, along with Italian-Canadian classical crossover singer Natalie Di Luccio who plays an Egyptian princess and comedian Sunil Grover best known as Gutthi. The video has been directed by Sonal Batra and will be launched on YouTube channel Culture machine next week.

“It is a peppy dance number. Sonu approached Raju personally and agreed to do it as an affectionate gesture,“ adds the source.