Rachana Dubey (BOMBAY TIMES; December 25, 2019)

Christmas is all about spreading cheer and spending time with the family. Every year, model-entrepreneur Malaika Arora makes it a point to bring in Christmas with her family and close friends. “I wait all year for this. I’m like a child who is very happy around this time,” says Malaika. “I plan my celebrations well in advance. I make notes about what my dinner table will look like and how I would like to decorate my tree and the house. I have to admit that this year has been extremely kind to me. It feels fitting to end the year on a high and what better way than doing it with your loved ones who matter to you,” she says.

This year, besides work, Malaika has been in a happy space in her personal life, too. Pictures of her holidaying with Arjun Kapoor made the rounds, and a few months ago, the couple confessed to their relationship for the first time.

When asked if Arjun will be a part of her Christmas celebrations, she says, “I am grateful for everything that has transpired in the year — personally and professionally. You often worry about how things will shape up. I am happy with the way my relationship has unfurled and my work has shaped up in the last year. This year, Christmas is special for so many wonderful reasons. And, of course, Arjun will be a part of the celebrations.”

Malaika’s mother Joyce puts together the Christmas menu every year. “I am in charge of desserts. My mother designs the menu and Amu (Amrita Arora Ladak) and I don’t have a say in it,” laughs Malaika, adding, “As children, Amu and I used to make sweets, which we don’t do now. We have a huge spread laid out on the table, which comprises traditional Christmas fare. Mom also includes dishes from different parts of the country, and some international, too. It’s like a world of food on the table, which is beautifully set by her.”

Malaika has fond childhood memories of her home being filled with cousins, uncles and aunts on Christmas day. “There would be 50-60 people at home, so imagine what the house looked like! Plus, we always had our friends and other guests coming over for the festival.

For me, Christmas has always been about getting together and spreading cheer. Everyone in my family can sing well, and they would display their skills on this day. It was also about exchanging gifts. As kids, we would put up the Christmas tree, and every year, one kid would get a chance to place the star on top of the tree. With the kind of lives we lead today, most of us don’t even get to see each other for the entire year. On this day, everyone makes an exception and gets together. If you ask me, an ideal gift that I would like to give my family would be to take them out for a holiday and enjoy a white Christmas together. We have never done that. That is my ultimate plan, and some year, I will do that for my mom.”

Like her mother, Malaika, too, has familiarised her son Arhaan with Christmas rituals. She says, “Every year, the night before Christmas, I tell him, ‘Arhaan, it’s 10 pm, we have to go for midnight mass, everyone’s waiting.’ And his response is, ‘Why can’t we go at 12?’ All said and done, we have to instill values in our kids and tell them what matters to the family. As long as they are young, you can do that. Once they are older, they barely listen. We have a large, secular family. Arhaan’s grandparents from both sides, his father (Arbaaz Khan) and I have familiarised him with our cultures and traditions. We have tried to bring him up as a secular child. Today, if anyone asks him what his religion is, he says, ‘Indian’. That makes me happy and proud as a parent. The colours of Christmas denote what the festival truly stands for. White for peace, red for love and green for abundance. Today, I pray that the world sees these colours for what they really stand.”

Every year, Malaika and Amrita, Kareena Kapoor Khan and Karisma Kapoor, and their mothers, Joyce and Babita, are seen attending midnight mass. For a long time now, the girls have brought in the festival together. When asked her about it, Malaika says, “My girl gang is very special. Every year, we attend the mass and then bring in Christmas together at Kareena’s house. The next day, we’re with our family. The reason our bond is so special is that we’ve all been brought up in a similar way, where our mothers have been the focal point of our lives. They’ve shaped us into what we are today.”

Rachana Dubey (BOMBAY TIMES; July 4, 2019)

She has been guarding her personal life fiercely. It has been two years since her divorce with Arbaaz Khan and a year since Arjun Kapoor and she began stepping out together. Be it their adorable vacation posts or pictures of them hanging out with friends at parties, this lovable duo has been seen wearing their fondness for each other on their sleeve. In the last couple of months, there has also been speculation about an impending wedding. In an honest and candid chat with BT, Malaika Arora talks about matters of the heart, her relationships and motherhood. Excerpts:

About a year ago, Arjun Kapoor and you were spotted at a fashion show’s front row, sparking off conversations about your relationship. In less than a year, there was conjecture around your wedding. Has all this been too much to handle?
There’s a reason why some things are private. What’s for public consumption is out there. I’ve always been a private person and that doesn’t change. Yes, a lot has transpired in the last one year. A lot of people are involved in Arjun and my lives — families, friends and kids. You have to be sensitive about them, because you love and care for them. We both are sensitive people and aware of everyone around us. Nothing has been planned or made into an agenda. So far, things have unfurled organically. Yes, we have spoken about things and discussed them. Life has transitioned into a beautiful and happy space.

It has been three years since you moved on from your marriage with Arbaaz Khan and two years since the divorce. Back in 2017, you had said in an interview that you were not thinking about being in another relationship, but evidently, life has turned out differently. How did it all happen?
Firstly, I am not the first and not the last woman in this industry to get divorced. Marriage is a beautiful institution, but God forbid, if it hits a certain road bump, which eventually leads to separation or divorce, so be it. Unfortunately, we live in a society where there is so much negativity when it comes to divorce. I don’t believe in this concept of happily ever after. It’s great in a book, but there’s no such thing in our lives. You try to make the most of everything and rise to every occasion. Sometimes, it works and sometimes it doesn’t. What transpires between two people is very personal and sacred. The two people who decide to part ways are the only ones who will know the real reasons for it. For people to point fingers and insinuate is very unfair. It’s wrong to judge. Arbaaz and I have moved on, amicably. We have to be sensitive to our child (Arhaan) and his needs. When we parted ways, I felt vulnerable, though I am not a vulnerable person. I didn’t know which direction I wanted to move into. I was just sure that I have to give my child a stable environment, and to date, it has been my number one priority. Gradually, one thing led to another and now, things are how you see them today. I have to give my son a lot of credit for that. He has been very understanding and supportive of me. That was essential for me. My happiness matters the most to him and his happiness, to me. He has been instrumental in shaping my life. There were really no plans of being in another relationship, but things happened organically. We’re now in a phase of our life where we need to give our relationship that respectability by acknowledging each other’s presence.

What attracted you the most about Arjun?
It’s very difficult to find someone who understands you. Arjun understands me. He makes me smile and laugh and he knows me inside out. I guess that just makes everything work.

When you decided to part ways after years of being married, did you feel people were quicker to judge you?
I don’t usually pay attention to trolls because if I do that, I will live a sad, pathetic and toxic life. But this is about the larger society we live in. When a man moves on, it’s fine, but a woman moving on is sacrilege. Why? A man dating a younger woman makes him a dude. But if a woman dates a younger man, people say, ‘What the hell is she thinking’. This kind of disparity has been there forever. It’s sad and I hope that this changes. A lot is changing, but it will take a while for us to get there. It’s bad that the most shocking and nasty comments are made by women towards other women. You would think that men are the ones to make sexist remarks, but what do you say to a woman who pulls other women down? Remarks about how I’m a bad mother, why I am in a relationship with someone younger, and the work that I do… have often been made in the past. If women do not support and uplift each other, how will we ever stop looking over our shoulder and change the world’s mindset towards us?

You’ve broken convention in many ways in the professional and personal space. Who would you credit for that?
My family and I have seen broken homes and separation. My mother Joyce was a single parent who brought us up on her own. She fended for us and made my sister (Amrita) and me strong individuals. I might have found my own path, but my mom has shaped my thoughts. I’m a self-made woman, a working mother and a single parent. I run my home and I take care of it all by myself. I’ve done everything on my own. No person or surname has been instrumental in it. People in my life have contributed a lot, but no one can take credit for my achievements. Unfortunately, women have to deal with bias of all kinds, all the time. For a man, whatever goes with the package is fine, but people don’t hesitate to call a woman names, if she lives her life the way she wants to. I wish more women spoke up about it.

About a year ago, when Priyanka Chopra made her relationship with Nick Jonas official, she faced similar kind of bias, trolls and negativity on social media…
I remember that. The couple has just turned it all around and silenced all the wagging tongues. But why did those tongues even wag? It’s unfair to judge relationships. Can’t a woman find love in a man younger than her? If someone makes you happy and enriches your life, what’s the harm? I am 45 and that doesn’t make me dead or someone who’s over the hill. I enjoy my life and feel happy about having such a special equation with a man younger than me. You have to forget the barriers and nurture relationships.

Do you think people on social media find just about any reason to troll you… be it for being a single parent, your work or your relationship status? How do you deal with them?
I don’t listen to what people have to say about me. I just care for what my son, my family, my partner and my friends think. I was working, and taking care of Arhaan then, and I am doing that even now. The only difference is that, back then, I was married, and now I am not. What is the hoopla all about? It’s great for people who have had long-standing marriages. But I look at things differently. Something didn’t work out, but now I have a second chance at love and companionship. Second chances are hard to come by and the most amazing opportunities in life. So, why shouldn’t I or millions of other women like me take that chance? Having a relationship doesn’t change anything for me as a parent. I’m still my son’s concierge service for everything like every mother is. How am I any less of a mother then? In fact, as a single parent, you tend to overcompensate to ensure the kid doesn’t feel an absence in his life. Arbaaz and I have parted as a couple, but we make sure nothing affects our son. It’s a lot better this way. For the rest, time is the best healer.

You have a bunch of girlfriends who have been an inseparable part of your life. How have they and your family reacted to this new phase of your life?
My friends are my life. I have a lot of female friends and we feed off each other. They’re all incredibly strong working women and we make the space happy for each other. Initially, there were some issues with the family and that’s normal, because, in their head, they think they are looking out for you and making you see sense and prevent trouble. But the family has come around, too. They know where my happiness lies. Acceptance is work-in-progress. Everyone around us has been forthcoming, but I guess it all takes time. You can’t expect people to somersault overnight and be fine with things. You have to give people their space and time to come around. You can’t push these things. People gave us our space, we need to give them theirs.

Apart from your relationship with Arjun and the time you spend with your son, you seem to be enjoying your stint as a businesswoman. While most people initially judged it as another star wife taking to business, the perception seems to have changed now...
I started off with a clothing brand and with more opportunities; I felt I wanted to be a part of this space. I was drawn to fitness and yoga, which came to my rescue when I needed it the most, and gradually, it became a part of my work. I met amazing collaborators and things have worked out well for me. Finding your feet is like trying to solve puzzles where some part of you is apprehensive and nervous. I guess you have to fail a couple of times to find success. I threw myself into the deep end to make that transition. As for comments, I hear so many even now. I’ve been working for years and I’ve done it all, except acting, and yet people ask, ‘Karti kya hai?’ ‘What is her source of income?’ ‘Paise kahan se aate hain?’ Main kya itne saal se jhak maar rahi thi? Nahi na. I have worked and I continue to do so. Sadly, if people don’t see you on the big screen, they don’t think you are doing anything constructive with your life. Everyone builds their own body of work and that must be given its due, without unnecessary scrutiny.