Deepali Singh (DNA; June 1, 2019)

When we compliment Lisa Ray on the emerald green ensemble she has on for her book launch event, the model, actress and now, author, tells us, “My friends were like, it’s your book launch, you have to wear something bright!’” It certainly highlights her light green eyes and we tell her that these days, there are awards for stylish authors as well. “That’s the thing, why can’t we be both, right?” she asks.

In a way, the cancer survivor’s entire life has been all about defying norms and fighting off labels. One of India’s first supermodels, the daughter of a Bengali father and Polish mother started her journey with entertainment at the age of 16. Close To The Bone is her insightful travelogue about her life-changing experiences, including her acting projects, her battle with eating disorders, being diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma at the age of 37, her spiritual quest, her heartaches and triumphs along the way. “There is no contract any of us sign that we are going to get through life without any problems. Yet, we have the tendency to feel ashamed about presenting what are perceived to be our flaws. For me, my flaws are what make me beautiful.

I believe we are more beautiful for having been broken. That is me today,” she states, pointing to the chemotherapy scar on her chest. “Sometimes during shoots, they ask if they should cover it, and I say, ‘Don’t, it’s part of who I am’.” Over to Lisa...

It’s been a while since we saw you on the silver screen. Are you open to acting in Bollywood projects or doing web series?
I am a part of the web series Four More Shots Please. That was a great experience. Then, I have A R Rahman’s film 99 Songs. I only do the projects that really interest me because it’s my time away from my family and my writing.

Writing’s always been a part of your journey, right?
Always, since I was a child. I’ve only been delayed by 30 years! (Laughs). That is also one of the motivations behind writing the book, to explain this slightly surreal trajectory that my life has taken. Having said that, I have some stories to tell now and some experiences under my belt, so perhaps I will be a stronger writer for it. My entire career is literally an accident on many different levels. Entering the entertainment business in India has definitely been an accident. Also, it’s hard to understand because today’s entertainment world has changed so much since 1991, when I started. It wasn’t such a machine as it is today. So I thought it’s a worthwhile story to tell. Of course, it took me away from what I think is my primary passion and calling – writing. But I never stopped writing. I have been compulsively writing — journals, notebooks, poetry, articles for magazines. I literally have stacks and stacks of cardboard boxes from the last 20 years of my life!

So there’s a lot more to expect from you?
Yes, and it has helped a lot when it came to writing this book. Eventually, I would like to write fiction. I’m an observer. I create a back-story for strangers and I’m an introvert by nature. That’s my comfort zone and that’s how I process and understand the world around me.

What’s the idea behind the title of the book?
It’s an intriguing title, which I think, works on a few different levels. As a writer, it interests me. I am as taken by how a story is told as the story itself. Each and every sentence I wrote in the book, the title ended up being a manifestation of that. It’s a little bit lyrical and enigmatic and a little hard to place. Also, it’s a play on words, considering I was diagnosed with bone cancer and I have lived a life close to the bone. It implies stripping away a lot of peripheral stuff. But it’s open to interpretation and that’s also what I wanted.

What has been the takeaway for you as the author of this book?
For me, it’s a chance to connect, to reveal, to take control of my own narrative. Having been in this business for as long as I have — having started very young and having developed as woman in terms of my voice and my authenticity — I still am labelled. It’s a double-edged sword to be successful in the glamour business. You invite all the things that people consider define success — fame, money and reputation. On the other hand, you are boxed. People actually feel angry and threatened if I don’t conform exactly to those perceptions of me, over the years. My personal journey has always been about defying perceptions and labels. I was born a rebel and that’s come from my parents. So, the book is an opportunity for me to define myself as I feel. The book is a revelation for me, probably the most creative project I have ever been a part of in my life, even bigger than a film release.

With your husband Jason by your side and your twin daughters, Sufi and Soleil, do you feel more settled and sorted now?
There is less restlessness, perhaps. I was chasing answers, love, wholeness and I found them all within myself. I married the most incredible man but that happened after I started loving myself. I wasn’t looking for him to complete me. Everything else has fallen into place. I decided to become a mother at this age in my life because I knew that I was whole and fulfilled and I could be a good mother. I did it at the time it was right for me, because I had healed myself and I was ready to be able to give as much as take. But yes, I do get restless. I have a lot of ambitions. I want to be great writer. I want to win the Booker prize! And I don’t see that as a contradiction to who I am. Why can’t I be both?

Neha Maheshwri (BOMBAY TIMES; September 17, 2018)

Motherhood is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world and cradling one’s baby, a heavenly experience. That’s exactly the glory Lisa Ray is currently basking in. The actress recently became mommy to twin daughters via surrogacy. BT got in touch with Lisa to know more about her new role and she shared, “At the moment, my life is full of cascading emotions, attempting to co-ordinate feeding, napping and play schedules while juggling work, self-care, travel and time with friends, family and my hubby. My life has been full of crazy adventures, but right now, I’m experiencing a new level of anarchy and love. I can’t wait to bring our daughters to our home in Mumbai.”

The actress admitted that becoming a mother was not on the cards when she was younger. She explained, “Many things in my life have been unplanned. So, when the desire for children grew after I married my soulmate, Jason Dehni, it frankly caught me by surprise.”

Lisa shared, “Every new phase of life challenges my openness and the ability to adapt with each new experience.” Lisa and Jason have named their daughters Sufi — the mystic — and Soleil — the French word for ‘sun’. They were born via surrogacy in Tbilisi, Georgia, in June. “It has been an arduous and interesting experience. Having been diagnosed with multiple myeloma (a form of blood cancer) in 2009, which requires me to be on a lifelong dose of medication, preempted the possibility for me to carry children myself. Fortunately, technology has progressed where there are choices and new possibilities for having children. My husband and I decided to pursue surrogacy. India was the obvious choice. We consulted a reputed fertility doctor, but a week before we could begin, India outlawed commercial surrogacy. We were crushed. While I understand the pressing need to regulate the industry and prevent exploitation of surrogate mothers, it was a case of literally throwing out the baby with the bath water. But, I was determined. My husband and I were advised we could continue the process in India and that there were ‘ways’. But we did not want to bring our children into the world under a cloud of uncertainty,” she said.

Lisa narrated the tough and, at times, frustrating journey they had to undertake, “We hired an agency to help, had an unsuccessful attempt in Mexico, and spent a lot of money, emotional resources and sleepless nights. But as a cancer survivor, I firmly believe in overcoming the odds. And with my husband and a few close friends’ support, we hoped for the best. Finally, we settled on Georgia, where the surrogacy process is legal, transparent, regulated and overall beneficial for both sides. We relocated to Tbilisi for a few months for the birth.”

The actress believes that she has successfully buried her old views that having kids would slow her down. Talking about her husband’s role in their journey, she said, “My husband and I are becoming parents in our mid-40s, which is also unconventional, but the right time for us. I love to see Jason with them, growing into his new role as a father, holding them, changing diapers, with a burp cloth I got him, which is embroidered with ‘Men Who Change Diapers, Change the World’.”

The actress says she wanted to share her story to clear the myths around surrogacy. “I wanted to share our struggles and triumph. Having been open about my cancer journey and receiving so much unconditional support, sharing this moment of happiness feels right. Hopefully, our story can give hope to others who are struggling to have kids. Life throws you both challenges and miracles, and I’m unspeakably grateful for my miracle daughters,” she said. So, what plans does she have for her girls in future? “I will teach my girls to be resilient, strong, open, and that they can achieve anything they set their hearts on. There are no boundaries, except the ones in our minds and children have no idea of what they can and cannot achieve. Bringing up the next generation to be kind is the greatest chance we have for a better future. I can’t resist whispering in their tiny ears — ‘The Future is Female’,” she asserted.



Lisa Ray has named her daughters Sufi — the mystic — and Soleil — the French word for sun