Ileana DCruz is keeping herself occupied through the lockdown with an 80-day fitness challenge, but wants to take the first flight out to the USA to meet her parents
Ankita Chaurasia (MUMBAI MIRROR; August 10, 2020)

Ileana D’Cruz, like most of us, entered the Coronavirus lockdown thinking she would be confined to her home for a few days. To make the most of the unexpected break, she revisited her love for baking. “I have always wanted to make sourdough bread and it turned out quite good on my first try,” she recalls, adding that as days turned to weeks and then months, she realised she couldn’t sit around eating cakes and breads. “I told myself I’d become a ball by the time it was over—big and round, like those people in Wall-E,” she chuckles.

So, cutting out bread, sugar, and processed food from her diet, the actress switched to simple, easy recipes, experimenting with low-carb dishes and taking on an 80-day fitness challenge to give a much-needed boost to her workout routine. “You don’t see results overnight, but you feel better and more energetic rightaway. I work out in the morning, an hour after breakfast and it preps me up for the rest of the day,” she relays.

Working out has helped Ileana deal with lockdown-induced stress and was a major motivation behind her continuing with the grueling regime. “Being away from family has been taxing. Earlier, working out at the gym with my personal trainer always made me feel good. I was wondering initially if there was enough space for me to move around at home, but once I started, it all came together beautifully,” she exults, admitting the first week is always the most difficult. “I cried every time I stood up or sat down, everything hurt,” she reminisces.

A few weeks ago, she even powered through a fever, but Ileana assures that she ensures she gets enough rest. “We all have days when we feel horrible. Two days ago, I had acid reflux and my stomach was sensitive. I took a couple of days off, but couldn’t wait to get back. Working out is addictive,” she asserts.

With work from home not an option, the actress spends the rest of the day doing laundry, dishes, making lunch, and even manages to squeeze some time out for her hobbies. Though the canvasses didn’t make it to the social media, she has been painting, but ask her if an exhibition is in the offing and she shoots back, “I’m just an amateur, bumbling my way through. If I get better, I might post some of my art on the social media to assess the response before thinking of a show.”

Ileana has also taken up a house improvement project, redecorating an entire room by herself. “I moved the heavy dresser, took out the shelves, and put in new ones. Normally, for such projects, my dad would be around, but this time I had to make do with video calls, asking which way the screws went!” she laughs, adding that though it pushed her to the limits, it helped make her house into a home.

But despite all the fun she’s been having on her own, the actress can’t wait to be reunited with her family in the US. “I’m taking the first flight out. Of course, I’ll have to immediately quarantine myself, but at least after that, I can hug my mom. I have always been close to my family and eight months away from them have been hard,” she reiterates, maintaining that she didn’t stress as much about the pandemic as she did for her family’s safety and well-being.

And when will she be resuming work? “It’s going to be a while, even if the crew is reduced, you need actors and we can’t shoot wearing PPE kits and masks. It’s extremely hard for producers to take care of everyone during the shoot,” she sighs. Meanwhile, her The Big Bull co-star, Abhishek Bachchan, was just discharged from hospital post Covid-19 treatment and it remains to be seen when the makers can resume shoot. Ileana is positive it will happen soon. “Abhishek and I have common acquaintances, who have told me he’s getting better,” she informs.

On June 14, the day Sushant Singh Rajput was found dead in his Bandra apartment, Ileana had taken to the social media to share a heartfelt note that read, “Spent the day in a heavy emotional haze...Bawled my eyes out for hours...I didn’t even know Sushant personally but this hit so close to home it affected me so deeply...” Asserting she didn’t think much before putting up the post, the actress says, “I have gone through mild depression and mental illness. Sometimes it’s really hard for people to relate, perhaps because they haven’t been through this. But would it hurt so much to be kind?” she asks.

Actor Ileana D’Cruz on how the people closest to her helped her fight depression
Raghuvendra Singh (TIMES LIFE; May 20, 2018)

Ileana D’Cruz suffered from depression some time ago and takes a while to gather her thoughts while talking on the subject. But talk she did considering depression is too important a topic to run away from in today’s world.

She was doing big films like Main Tera Hero and Happy Ending but wasn’t happy about the space she was in. “Maybe, I put a lot of pressure on myself. I remember having a talk with my agency. They told me, ‘You’re doing a Balaji film and a project with Illuminati Films. How can you say you are not doing enough?’ But I just wasn’t happy. I couldn’t find a single reason to be happy. I believed everyone else was doing a better job. You can’t really explain the feeling. But someone else who has experienced it, would relate to me,” she explains. She spoke about the topic during the World Mental Health Conclave, in Delhi, and was relieved to find women who understood what she was going through.

She also decided to open up to her boyfriend, Andrew Kneebone. He was her pillar of strength through the dark phase. “I was pushing people away from me and I wasn’t aware of it. Andrew told me that you have all signs of depression. You need to get yourself checked. I had this stupid mindset: how could I possibly have depression?” She consulted a psychologist to prove him wrong, but the diagnosis was depression.

In this phase, she felt unattractive and dreaded going to the gym, fearing people would judge her. She was 10 kilos lighter than she is now but still felt the need to shed more. She used to work out all the time. Her therapist urged her not to bottle up emotions and open up to people who love her, and she says she’s thankful for Andrew for being with her. “I had someone like Andrew with me, who understood when I needed space, and when I needed to be consoled. It’s rare to come across people like him, because depression is not an easy thing to deal with.”

One of the exercises recommended by the doctor to her was to stand in front of the mirror every morning, and say, ‘I love myself’.’ “I told them I can’t do that. I hate seeing pictures of myself. I’ll find 10 things to fault. I hate seeing my shots,” she says, adding, “I have my weak moments but I’m stronger now.”

D’Cruz says talking about depression publicly is a sort of a cleansing process. It helps others to come to terms with it. “I don’t know my reach as an actor. But if I can talk about it and help people, that’s a good thing. Depression is a big problem in India. It’s an emotional thing to talk about. Last time I spoke about it in Delhi I broke down on stage...,” she says softly. Apart from Andrew and her mother, her manager, Nimisha, was a big help as well. “She’s seen me at my worst. I’d make frantic calls to her and say I can’t do this, I can’t get out of bed, I can’t leave the room, I’m in no state to handle people and questions. She pulled me through all that.”

Professionally, the past year was good for the actor, with Mubarakan and Baadshaho. But she isn’t satisfied. She wants to do more work but at the same time also spend time with her family. “Ajay (Devgn) and I were having this conversation, where he said he too wants to spend more time with his family. I could relate to that. I want to take off for a month to spend time with my family,” she smiles adding, “I’m just trying to take each day as it comes…”

The actress will spending the festival with her boyfriend Andrew Kneebone in Melbourne, Australia
Upala KBR (DNA; December 23, 2016)

Ileana D’Cruz, is spending this Christmas with boyfriend, Australian photographer-actor Andrew Kneebone and his family in Melbourne. She tells us why the season is so special for her...

How do you celebrate Christmas?
Christmas has to be the most loved holiday in our family. It’s all about sweets and presents and decorations and fairy lights! For me, Christmas has always been magical! It’s time with family, lots of laughing, talking and eating.

Is this something you had thought about or made plans about in advance?
Christmas was something my superwoman mama always handled! She had the sweets, decor, and presents all sorted. We as kids always helped with making sweets. I remember making marzipan, kulkuls, chocolates with different flavours, cakes. It was sugar heaven.

How are you celebrating Christmas this year?
This year I’m in Melbourne away from the rest of the family and celebrating Christmas in the summer!

Who are you going to kiss under the mistletoe this year?
Andrew, even if he forgets to get the mistletoe!

Did you believe in Santa Claus as a kid?
Yes! I almost got into a fight with a school mate who insisted Santa Claus wasn’t real. Let’s just say I ended up crying my eyes out all the way home (laughs).

Who’s the one person you consider Santa Claus in your life?
Oh, that has to be my parents. Hands down the best Santa Claus ever! Every time I wrote my note to Santa as a kid, they somehow managed to always get me what I wanted. They made every single year so memorable and happy.

Considering you are a girl who has everything, what gift would you want to find in your stocking this Christmas?
I don’t know if I have everything! I am lucky though with the things I do own. I actually don’t have a wishlist this Christmas. Material possessions only go so far to make you happy. The only thing I really do want is for my whole family to be together this Christmas, but since that can’t happen I’ll be looking forward to spending next Christmas with them.

You have often worn red — at the airport and also at other places. Is red one of your favourite colours?
I love red. It’s such a beautiful colour. For me it signifies lots of things. Passion, love, happiness and of course, Christmas. I think red also looks lovely on a woman so it’s no wonder why I wear read as often as possible.

Your favourite Christmas memory?
It has to be last Christmas when the whole family got together and we got a place by the sea side and spent the holiday cooking together, playing board games, drinking beer and cider and just being a loud, happy family.

Your favourite Christmas movies to watch on the Eve?
Home Alone Part 1 is a kiddie classic for me. But I love Love Actually and The Holiday.

What are you fav Christmas foods? Do you indulge yourself?
I love to cook. I indulge a little bit during Christmas, but definitely not as much as I did as a kid. It’s become sort of a tradition for me to make creme brûlée during Christmas now so I’ll be making a batch, for sure.

A crazy wish you asked Santa for as a child?
I remember I saw this gorgeous mermaid Barbie in a foreign kids toys magazine. And I decided to ask for not one, but two. One for me and one to please a friend from school as well! Little did I know that my parents were going to be stumped because there were no such dolls available in India at the time.

Any Christmas ritual you followed as a kid?
We were always sent to bed before midnight on Christmas Eve as kids because Santa obviously doesn’t deliver presents unless we were sleeping. But I always ended up waking up before anyone else on Christmas Day just so I could sneak up to the Christmas tree to see how many presents were kept for me under it.

One Christmas miracle you’re praying for?
For the brutality around the world to stop. For peace. Life is too short to treat someone with hate. There’s no point in violence.