We have seen Neetu Kapoor in bit roles over the years, be it Do Dooni Chaar (2010), Jab Tak Hai Jaan (2012) or Besharam (2013). “I did Do Dooni for Rishi-ji. I did Besharam for Ranbir. JTHJ I did for Aditya (Chopra) because the role was a negative role and they needed a positive personality to reflect the part with empathy. But it’s only this film that I am doing for myself,” she says, referring to her next release, JugJugg Jeeyo.

Karan Johar’s production sees her take centre-stage with co-stars Anil Kapoor, Varun Dhawan and Kiara Advani. The senior actor admits she signed the movie to overcome her grief, after losing husband Rishi Kapoor in 2020. “I want to be happy. Losing a partner who you met when you were in your teens, shakes you up. I have been with him since I was 15. I was alone for the first time in a long time. I am turning 64 next month. It’s a friendship of that long - from teenage years to now. I don’t want to stress out my children, so working is my way of making sure they know that I am alright. Seeing me enjoy work, chatting with the paps, and promoting the film relaxes them a fair bit.”

The journey of moving away from her own grief hasn’t been an easy one, Kapoor notes. As a primary caregiver to her husband - late Rishi Kapoor, who battled cancer, weighed her down emotionally. The actress admits that after his death, she felt her life had no purpose. “I don’t think anyone who hasn’t been in the shoes of a caregiver can even fathom what  I have gone through emotionally. I was down and gone. We had a dinner party at home and Karan (Johar, producer) was at the dinner. He insisted that he wants to narrate the film. I was at such a low point that I would’ve said no. But the script convinced me. One I said yes, mentally I started preparing for the character. One day at a time, I stopped thinking about what I have lost. It is true that an idle mind is a devil's workshop. The thoughts of what I went through stopped coming back. My life and routine was around Rishi-ji - holidays, lunches, weekends. I didn’t have the one constant person I would turn to. So I became independent in some ways. The film came at a time when I needed it the most. It also gave me the confidence that I can do more of this.”

Showing up on the film’s set on day one made her extremely jittery. “It was horrible. I was shaking at the thought of this film. When your partner has left you, you are not strong. I wasn’t healed when I started working on this. But everything worked out for the best for this movie. The good thing about me is that I have an immense amount of patience. I don’t get tired easily. I have been acting since I was a child. Usually the camera is the problem, but that’s not what was the case with me. I have done some 80 odd films. Camera and sets are like a second home. But emoting requires fine tuning and it needs confidence. This film has been able to fix my faith in myself.”

The year 2022 has brought much joy to the Kapoor family as her son Ranbir tied the knot with Alia Bhatt in April. There’s a renewed sense of stability in her professional and personal life, says the senior actor. “Work came pouring in once I signed this movie. Some I have said yes to and will start this year. But my life doesn’t depend on work. I am going to do one project and then take a vacation. I am looking for impactful roles and not the usual mother-trope fare. On the home front, I am so happy to see Ranbir and Alia married. I wanted Ranbir to be married before I go. It was a wish to see the person my son will spend his life with. Alia is such a lovely person. Alia and I have a great connection; we give each other space but are always in touch. Riddhima and I have the ritual of having breakfast together on video chat every morning no matter where we are.”

Neetu Kapoor bid adieu to a promising film career following her marriage with Rishi Kapoor at the age of 21. The actress, who returned to the big screen with Love Aaj Kal in 2009, finds herself in the spotlight again – this time, for her television debut with Dance Deewane Juniors and most importantly, her son, Ranbir Kapoor’s marriage to Alia Bhatt next week. Expressing excitement in an interview with BT, she adds that she hopes to share with her bahuthe same outstanding relationship that she shared with her saas, Krishna Raj Kapoor. Excerpts...

Kids are my weakness. I love them. They all dance so beautifully, I get confused while deciding who performed better. The experts in dance are Marzi Pestonji and Nora Fatehi and I enjoy learning from them. We weren’t perfect, but we learnt from our mistakes. Even the public would give us second chances ki yeh film nahi chali toh doosri chalegi. Today, they are trained and perfect. So, you can’t tell who is good and who is bad. Of course, we encourage them. But otherwise, all of them are outstanding and are doing something new. I am learning from them, and it is amazing.

I had no inclination to return to acting, but the makers of Do Dooni Chaar needed me. So, Rishi ji requested me to become a part of the film, which I turned down initially. However, he suggested that I hear the script before I made up my mind. I loved the story, agreed to be a part of it and the film was appreciated by people. I did Besharam because mera ek laalach tha kyunki usme Ranbir aur mere husband dono the. Unfortunately, the film didn’t work at the box office. I wasn’t keen on returning to working, as I was busy. Rishi ji would keep me so busy that I didn’t get time for anything else. However, after my husband passed away, my children (Ranbir and Riddhima) told me to work as they didn’t want me to sit around at home. That’s how I was pushed to do JugJugg Jeeyo and a couple of other shows. I started enjoying the process. I started building my confidence which was zero, when I started shooting for JugJugg Jeeyo. My kids encouraged me to do something. I have also become quite social. I would hardly invite people home or go out. My husband’s friends were my friends. I rarely went out for lunches and dinners. But now, I am socialising all the time, because this is what I want to do now. Life gets too sad and I don’t want to be sad. I want to be happy.

I started working in films at the age of five. I had enough of it by the time I turned 21. I had no life as a child or a teenager. I didn’t have any friends. I would work three shifts in a day and did 80 films in seven years as a heroine. I earned a lot of fame at the age of eight with Do Kaliyaan (1968). Fame bhi mil gayi, sab kuchh mil gaya, so I just desired to have peace of mind then. Back then, acting was like a job for me. I never desired to become an actor. I had to do it for my family. Now, I want to be busy and happy. The only thing I know is to be in movies and that’s what I am doing. More than it being a tool to divert my mind, I am enjoying the process. I derive happiness from it. I enjoy getting ready, meeting people, thinking about the film and learning my lines. I have to put in extra effort in memorizing, as after a certain age, memory thodi weak ho jaati hai (smiles). I remember those days when I would read my dialogues once and give the shot. I was so quick. Even for my dance performances, I would rehearse just once and give the take. There were no rehearsals. Aaj kal toh 10-10 dinn ek gaane ki rehearsal karte hain. I am more excited today as an artiste than I was in those days. I am looking forward to each phase. I want to travel as well.

It takes time to gain the confidence back. Maybe, I am not 100 per cent there, but I am getting there. It has changed me as a person. I have become stronger. I was always strong with my husband, but today, I have to look after my house, finances, etc. Earlier, my husband looked after these aspects, but today I have become the man of the house. So, I have become stronger than I was when my husband was alive, as I was dependent on him. Today I am looking after everything.

I hope ho jaaye. Mujhe kuchh pata nahi hai. I would like to celebrate and say it out loud, but kids today are different. Both of them are private people. Kab kar lenge pata nahi, but hogi zaroor and I wish jaldi ho jaaye because I love them both. Alia is such a lovely girl. I just adore her. She is a beautiful person. Ranbir and Alia are made for each other. They are quite similar. Ranbir is pure-hearted and uncorrupted. He sees things in a positive way. There is no jealousy with anybody or negativity. I see the same quality in her. Both are confident and don’t have bad things to say about anybody — even if somebody’s movie is doing well or is better looking. They complement each other.

I hope I do in the future… when they get married. My relationship with my mother-in-law was outstanding. She loved me more than her son. We were friends. We spoke about everything under the sun, and I would complain about my husband to her (laughs!). We were very open. I hope I have the same equation with Alia because she is also outstanding and amazing.