As she kicks off her dating show, Shilpa Shetty on how she has reinvented herself over a 25-year career
Shaheen Parkar (MID-DAY; October 2, 2018)

In the 11 years that she has been missing from the big screen, Shilpa Shetty has taken on different roles — from turning an entrepreneur to being a reality show judge. The actor has now forayed into the digital space with a virtual dating show, Hear Me Love Me. "I have been part of the industry for 25 years. There is no point doing the same thing again and again," says Shetty.

One to believe in reinventing herself, she says signing the web show was another attempt in the direction. "I want to be relevant to people even half my age. Hear Me Love Me has contestants in the age group of 18-30 years. I was keen to foray into the digital medium, but instead of acting, I decided to anchor a reality show."

Though she is seen as a relationship guru on the series, she jokes that in real life, sister Shamita Shetty refuses to pay heed to her advice in matters of the heart. "As they say, ghar ki murgi dal barabar. I even tell her that I am being paid to give love advice," she laughs. While she is open to acting offers, Shetty — who had turned producer with Dishkiyaoon (2014) — says filmmaking is not her forte. "I will never dabble in production again. I burnt my fingers badly with it."

Priya Gupta (BOMBAY TIMES; February 21, 2014)

Shilpa Shetty Kundra, 38, still considers herself as vulnerable as she always was, but today has learnt to guard her vulnerability. Her past rejections, be it in relationships or in films, have made her grow and become the personality she is today. She is practical and likes her middle-class values. She was pregnant when she decided to make Dishkiyaoon and feels that she has parallelly produced two babies, one her son Viaan and the other, the film. While her mother will continue to remain her emotional anchor, her husband Raj Kundra is her best friend, whom she turns to for things she can’t discuss with her mother. Over an hour-long conversation in her beautifully done-up home in Juhu, she talks to Bombay Times about her dominating mother, her self-made husband and the rejection that makes her stand taller today. Excerpts:
 
What made you choose Harman for Dishkiyaoon? 
He’s not just a sweet guy, but also a good actor. How can you judge him after just doing two-and-a-half films? We got better after doing 20. I was lucky that I debuted in a superhit film like Baazigar. I am a Mangalorean who did not even know Hindi when I started. I was just 17 and wanted to be a model, that too was a keeda put into my head by a neighbour, who was a foreign photographer in Chembur where we lived. He shot me for free as he thought I was really tall. He arranged the makeup artist and the hairdresser for the shoot. The make up artist Jagdish Purohit is no more now, but he distributed my pictures as he thought I had the potential of becoming a model. I remember meeting Abbas bhai and Mustan bhai for Baazigar and they said, ‘This is a remake of a film called A Kiss Before Dying and the first thing I said to them was, ‘I won’t kiss.’ They said, ‘No, no you don’t have to kiss, but this is the role.’ I was initially very nervous in front of the camera, but learnt acting on the job. When I was seven, my father started the business of manufacturing pilferproof bottles for medical capsules. My mom used to work as a secretary to the main guy at Bharat Petroleum. My nana, who used to run an Udupi restaurant, lost all his money and so my mum had to fend for herself and her family. She was the first Bunt woman to have started working (Bunt is the small community of Mangalore in which women traditionally don’t work). My mum had pushed the boundary and I think I got my courage from there. She was so forward-looking, she never stopped me from doing what I wanted to, even though my dad was far more orthodox. I was the first Bunt girl to have become an actress. We were middle-class that grew up to becoming upper middle-class, where I had my own car and driver, but my parents scrounged with their luxuries to give us the best. My father did not want me to join the industry and wanted me to complete my education so that I could have taken over his business. Today, I have landed up doing business which I have believed in, be it a spa and salon, yoga or now movies. But there was a phase in my career, when I was written off and came back into the limelight with the UP Bihar song from Shool. And then Dhadkan happened. I keep asking myself what if Ratan Jainji and Dharmesh Darshan didn’t want to take me in Dhadkan. People would pose the same question to them, ‘Why Shilpa?’ But they stood their guns as they believed in me and the film was a superhit.
 
Talk about your relationship with your parents? 
I try to be a good daughter as I believe in karma and feel that how you are with your parents is directly proportionate to what you receive in your life. I am a big oneness follower and our gurus have told us that if you want to achieve external happiness, you need to be happy internally. And your inner circle is your family. My mother is my guru. I admire her, not just because she is my mother, but because she has a great story to tell. We have the luxury to be able to choose the time we can spend with our child. But at that time, my parents were both struggling and working to create something for us. She’d work the whole day, put us to bed, get up the next morning with a smiling face, give us a bath and leave for work. Today, as a mother, I know how difficult it is to leave your kid as that is the most difficult thing. After an exhausting day, for her to come back home and see her children wanting to go to sleep must have been extremely painful. She was good at typing, so after being so tired she would type out the questions and answers for us for our exams. Shamita and I are culturally bound and spiritually inclined due to her upbringing. My father has also been wonderful. He was dominating outside, but inside the house it was my mother who dominated. These are strict rules which even Raj and I follow. While Raj handles finances, I handle the creative and while he dominates outside the house, inside it’s me.
 
Talk about your husband Raj Kundra? 
I met Raj at a time in my life where I was riding this wave with the Big Brother success. He lived in London with his parents who had told him about me, ‘Yeh Shilpa Shetty aayee hai aur usne Indians ka naam ooncha kiya hai.’ He came to my hotel and the first thing was that he came and touched my mother’s feet even though he was a Londoner. And that sums up the person he is. He is very respectful and treats my parents like his. He is also an excellent son and I had thought, great husband, but he surpassed that with Viaan. I may do everything for Viaan, right from cleaning his potty to singing nursery rhymes, but the moment Raj will walk in, his focus shifts to him. Raj is a hands-on father and is happy to take him to the mandir alone or take a day off to be with him, if I am working. What I love most about Raj is that he is self-made and very hard-working and humble despite all that he has achieved at just 38. He is real and what you see is what you get and he has a great sense of humour. Because he is self-made, he says ‘even if I lose everything, I will make it back’ and doesn’t get attached to anything. I am happy I married a man I respected. Bluntly put, anyone who felt that it was a good catch for me, would change their mind if they met him. They would understand why I married him. He is a good man. While we are similar in many ways, he is impulsive and wants to do everything. Unlike me, Raj doesn’t believe in God, he believes in karma. I have a lot of faith in Siddhivinayak and every time something is weighing me down, I take the oath of walking barefoot 21 times, at the end of which my life changes.
 
What does Raj like the most about you?
I think we work well for each other. I don’t know whether he likes it or not, but I am not possessive in the conventional way. I have seen how women would keep tabs on their husbands when they go out for an all-boys night out or a party. If I don’t go with Raj to a party, it’s by choice. I don’t see the reason to tag along just because I am insecure or insist that your husband keep his phone on. When he goes out, I put my phone on silent, put it on charge and go to sleep as after 10 pm I want to sleep. So he likes this and also doesn’t like it.
 
Did your mother dominate your life?
I think my mum thinks she is more dominating, but I get my way around now. I am not dominating but when I don’t like something, I will tell her. I can’t be a hypocrite with people I am very close to. It may sound very harsh, but I will say it. For me, everything is black and white. There is no grey with me, which is probably why I didn’t quite make it in a sort of big way in the industry. I am willing to compromise to a point, but I can’t compromise my self-respect. Not coming from a film background, be it a teeny-weeny role or a big role, I have done it with a lot of dignity and fought my way through. But the only thing that kept me going is that I am the sort of person who doesn’t take no for an answer. If someone rejects me, I will be out to prove that person wrong in my own way. 

Whose rejection hurt you the most in life?
I grew up with that rejection. It was important for it to happen. Twelve years ago, I was way too naïve. I was brought up in this over-protective kind of home where my mother travelled with me till the end of my career and I liked it that way. My mum and I were very close. I wouldn’t say yay or nay without asking her and that sometimes stunts your growth. I don’t think it was my mother’s fault as I was way too dependent on her and I must have got on the nerves of the man I was in love with, because it is important to be yourself and have control over your own emotional faculties and other aspects of your life. So a break-up, getting thrown out of a film, those were milestones in my life, in me becoming a better personality. At that time, it was very hurtful. But I want to thank those people as people who threw me out of a film came back to do a film with me. And that was my achievement. I still guard my vulnerability. I like my middle-class values. I like being innocent, but know now when I am being taken for a ride.

Priya Gupta (BOMBAY TIMES; February 17, 2014)

Shilpa Shetty was always sexy. But one assumes that post becoming a mother she would lose some of her curves. In her upcoming film Dishkiyaoon as a producer, she has done an item song along with Harman Baweja, in which Shilpa has not just gone back to her original figure but has actually bettered it, as she now has abs for the first time. Talking to us, she said, “I have worked so hard for my abs. I always knew that I had a good body. For me, it was never a big thing as the body was always there. But after having my son, I realised the value of it. To lose your body and get back to shape and actually have a benchmark for yourself or trying to become the old Shilpa Shetty was hard. And this is actually better than the old one. I never had abs before. I worked out like a dog, four times a week, for 45 minutes over a month-and-a-half, for this song.” Last time, she had come to loot only UP and Bihar. Looks like this time she has her eyes on India.

Upala KBR (DNA; February 11, 2014)

Shilpa Shetty Kundra is set to sizzle again on the big screen. And yes, it will be in a super sexy avatar. The actress recently shot for an item song for her home production Dishkiyaoon, which stars Harman Baweja. This song will mark her return to films after her last screen hurray in the Bounce song in Dostana (2008).

Shilpa, who is also known as the The Body for her killer bod, has done quite a few item songs, but she is most remembered for UP Bihar Lootne from Shool. Says an insider, “Her item song in Dishkiyaoon is exactly like that — raw, earthy and sensual but with a city flavour. Hence, this item number will cater to both the masses and classes.” A source adds, “What made her finalise the song was when her son Vivaan heard it and started dancing on it. In fact, he was present on the sets along with her producer husband Raj while she shot it. It’s supposed to be hotter than Sheila Ki Jawani and Chikni Chameli!” The music is composed by Sachin-Jigar.

The song is one of the highlights of the film and will be promoted as the USP. “Shilpa went on a strict diet and workout regime for two months to get into shape for the song. She has been offered many item songs but turned them down. As of now, the actress wants to concentrate on her home production only.” Wait for the song, people!