Akshat Ajay Sharma describes Nawazuddin Siddiqui, the leading man of his debut film Haddi, as a “master”. The director speaks with a sense of gratitude while recalling his first meeting with the actor, and his faith in him. “He simply told me, ‘Yes.’ During the shoot, he would take three hours each day [to acquire the look],” he says of his film that sees Siddiqui play a transgender person. 

“At the same time, he had to be aware of the emotional aspects of the character. Only a master can do that. He would even improvise lines, like he did for the one in the trailer, ‘Aurat thi, aurat hun, aur aurat rahungi.’ That was the result of his improvisation on a monologue.”

If Siddiqui was the protagonist of his film, Sharma turned to his mentor, Anurag Kashyap, with the offer to play the antagonist. The unpredictable Kashyap, with whom he worked as an assistant director on projects like Sacred Games, AK vs AK, and Manmarziyaan, was the actor he needed to elevate his film.

“I wanted a down-to-earth but ambitious character as the villain. In his mind, even a villain thinks he is always right. So, I needed that innocence to reflect on screen. We could have made him larger-than-life. But it was interesting to explore the insecurities of a villain who is in politics and constantly trying to get money from wherever he can. A guy like that will always be on the edge of his seat.”

A fan of Telugu cinema, Sharma wanted to pay tribute to Pushpa: The Rise actor Allu Arjun with his first film. “The dialogue, ‘Main jhukega nahi’, delivered by Anurag’s character, is an homage [to Arjun]. I am glad people are liking south stars now. I have loved them for a long time.”

When debutant director Akshat Ajay Sharma approached Anurag Kashyap to play the antagonist in Haddi, the filmmaker told him to find another actor. “If you don’t find anyone, I’ll do it,” he promised. Months later, Kashyap was on set playing the antagonist to Nawazuddin Siddiqui’s titular character in the ZEE5 film.

So, how was it being directed by one’s mentee? After all, Sharma had worked as an assistant director on several of Kashyap’s projects, including Sacred Games and Manmarziyaan (2019).

“When it’s my film, I give everybody [space], but because it was his film, I was watching if he was doing it right or wrong. I was stricter. I also cribbed a lot, asking him, ‘Kya kara raha hai mujhse?’” laughs Kashyap, before admitting, “I was the biggest diva on the set. I felt like the papa, and they were all my children because so many of the cast and crew members have worked on my films.”

In that sense, the enthusiastic storyteller is “a reluctant actor”. Which begs the question: Has any actor ever shown reluctance to feature in his film? One would assume that most actors want a Kashyap project on their résumé, but the director reveals he often faces rejection.

“Every actor is reluctant to act in my film after becoming successful. Everybody wants to be a star eventually. I am a favourite of actors when they are starting out. After they’ve had a breakthrough, they say, ‘Sir, pata nahin yeh film chalegi ya nahin. Mere career ka kya hoga?’ Except Nawaz, Huma [Qureshi] and Radhika [Apte], every actor has said this to me.”

Director Akshat Ajay Sharma was willing to wait a year instead of approaching any other actor for Haddi. When he wrote Haddi that revolves around a transgender woman who rises through the ranks to become a feared criminal, he could only imagine Nawazuddin Siddiqui in the titular role. The director’s belief paid off as the actor gave his nod as soon as he read the script.

“Without Nawaz, there is no Haddi. He reads all his scripts. Given his busy schedule, it was a task to get him to sit down with me for three hours. But once he read the script, he said yes immediately,” recalls Sharma.

“He was my only choice for this role. Why do you think I waited a whole year for him and didn’t pitch it to anyone else?”

With Siddiqui coming on board the ZEE5 film, the director knew the biggest hurdle was behind them. The role demanded intense research and prep. While the character’s physical appearance was an aspect that needed attention, the filmmaker was more focused on the emotional graph.

“We had the best people [to handle] the character’s look. With Priyanka [Mundada, costume designer] and Subhash [Shinde, hair, make-up and prosthetics expert], the appearance was never a worry. The task was to dissect the character’s psyche—the sensitivity, the strength, the bond of sisterhood, and the vengeance of someone who had lost everything. I love how Nawaz absorbs everything that a filmmaker desires of him, then he gives that and more.”

The crime drama, also starring Anurag Kashyap as a gangster-turned-politician and Ila Arun, went on floors in Delhi in July 2022. Before facing the camera, Siddiqui spent time with the transgender community in the capital, understanding their psyche, desires and fears.

The actor shares, “I never considered that I was playing the role of a transgender woman. I always thought I was portraying a female character. When I lived with transgender women and talked to them, what came out strongly was their desire to become women. It’s this wish that fuels their personality. So, for me, it was a valuable lesson not to play this role superficially, but to embody a woman’s emotions regardless of my own physicality. The film was shot from a female perspective.”

Nawazuddin Siddiqui’s body of work has proved his penchant for pushing the envelope as an actor. No surprises then that the first look of him dressed as a woman in the upcoming film Haddi, a revenge drama directed by Akshat Ajay Sharma, has got social media talking. Intrigued by his striking new avatar, we reached out to the actor to know about this new look.

In an exclusive conversation with Bombay Times, Nawaz said, “It’s just been a couple of days. We have started the shoot of Haddi in Noida. It’s a revenge drama. I will be portraying two roles in the film — I play a woman and a transgender. These are two separate parts, it’s a double role. Akshat had this script and wanted to make the film for almost four years. Akshat has worked as a second unit director in AK vs AK and Sacred Games. I have known him since the time he was working with Anurag Kashyap. We are finally doing the film.”

While some fans were quick to point out that Nawaz’s female look may have been inspired by Archana Puran Singh’s hairdo,the actor clarified that there was no such reference, nor will he try to emulate anyone. He said, “If I am playing a female character, I need to think like a woman and that’s my test as an actor. Outfit, hair, make-up, yeh sab toh theek hai...that’s not my concern. There are experts to look into it and they know their job. Woh sab baahri cheezen hai and those will be taken care of. My concern is to get the internal thought process right.”

Nawaz said, “What do women think? What do they want? An actor’s job is to get into the head of the character he plays. Your perception, outlook towards life as a woman is bound to be different and that is the most difficult part about Haddi for me. Ek aurat ke nazariyese duniya dekhni hogi. The film is not about costumes and gestures. The process is more internal.”

Nawaz’s collaboration with female directors on various projects came handy for the prep. He revealed, “I have worked with many renowned female directors and that helped me. I realised that women look at the world differently. They are far more compassionate and see beauty in everything. For most men, it’s often about power and control. The female gaze is kinder and sensitive. I am trying to get that POV (point of view) right.”

The actor takes close to three hours daily to get his female look right. He shared, “After this experience, I have huge respect for actresses who do this on a daily basis. Itna saara taam jhaam hota hai. Hair, make-up, kapde, nails... pura sansar leke chalna padta hai. Now I know why an actress may take longer than her male counterpart to get ready. It’s absolutely justified. I will have more patience now (laughs)!”