Showing posts with label Adnan Sami father. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adnan Sami father. Show all posts
My father just did his duty as a soldier; he loved India-Adnan Sami
8:20 AM
Rishabh Suri (HINDUSTAN TIMES; February 22, 2020)
Singer-composer Adnan Sami has had millions hooked right from his first hits, Lift Kara De and Kabhi Toh Nazar Milao. Then followed classics such as Sun Zara (Lucky: No Time For Love; 2005) and Bhar Do Jholi Meri (Bajrangi Bhaijaan; 2015) over the past three decades. So it didn’t come as a surprise when he was given the Padma Shri, India’s fourth highest civilian award, this year. However, the 46-year-old had no inkling of the criticism to follow, including that of his father, Arshad Sami Khan, who was a fighter pilot in the Pakistan Air Force. Excerpts from an interview:
You were conferred the Padma Shri recently. What was your reaction to the news?
I was shocked! If I was a cartoon, my jaw would have dropped to the floor. The funny part was my wife was in the other room when I received the call. Seeing me, she said, ‘What is going on?’ When I told her, she was equally shocked. When I told my mother, she asked ‘Beta, you’re talking about THE Padma Shri na?’ She was overwhelmed. It’s such an honour.
Fans welcomed this decision, but some people questioned it. How do you react to this, questions raised over your citizenship and the like?
With these awards there will be a section of naysayers. They unnecessarily politicise something of this nature. Forget about me, look at the sanctity of this award. By doing this, you are insulting its dignity. You should draw the line somewhere.
Like not going to the lengths of criticising your father?
That was as silly as it gets. By all means, criticise the hell out of my music. It’s a free world. But suddenly going to the third party zone and saying, ‘His dad was this’… Excuse me? He was doing what he had to do, for his own country, and with honour. As a professional, respectable soldier, that was his life, I respect him for it. As much as he respected me when I told him I wanted to be an Indian citizen. He could have said, ‘How can you become that? I was a soldier’. He just said, ‘Beta, I have lived my life, these people (Indians) have loved, respected you. You have my blessings.’ The fact is, he loved India.
Do you feel getting embroiled in such controversies takes away from your creative liberty and art?
Nahin. Main inko itni lift nahi karata! (laughs) Let's say 100 people raised (objections). I've got 1.3 billion people loving me! There will be people who are going to be nasty. I just go 'Nanana na na'! (laughs)
I have so many friends who are Hindu but they will say Khuda hafiz to me-Adnan Sami
8:47 AM
Anshul Chaturvedi (BOMBAY TIMES; February 3, 2020)
Adnan Sami’s Padma Shri ran into controversy on two grounds. One, does his body of work merit it? That, however, is a question that comes up each year for one or more recipients, irrespective of the regime in power. The second question, however, is not so common — should a man whose father fought against India in a war be feted by the Indian state? When Adnan spoke to us last year, he recurrently emphasised the point that he was “loyal to India because of what my father taught me”. We ask him to comment on the recent outrage.
“See, if you have been indoctrinated with a particular belief or principle... it’s like this... once you have learnt engineering after that you apply that skill to a Maruti or a Mercedes, the principle is the same, right, because the education that you got was basically for an engine. So the indoctrination that I got from my father of the concept of loyalty, patriotism etc... he used it in his capacity, in his life for the country that he belonged to and he instilled those principles in me. Today, I am an Indian and the DNA of my upbringing and the principles that have been indoctrinated in me — I am using exactly the same principles but adopting it to my country. And so my sense of loyalty is absolutely intact, but for the country that I belong to,” he explains.
Adnan was born in the UK, his spouse is German. We put a question to him, hoping for insight: During and after WW2, nations in Europe fought bitterly, even viciously, and political and ethnic boundaries were drawn, erased, redrawn. Yet, they have been able to function collectively, even build an EU that is close to borderless – even after Brexit – without the fallout of the hatred and killing in the 1940s. How did they reintegrate while the subcontinent still simmers in the animosity of the 1940s?
“It’s a very interesting question, which I have pondered over.” He pauses for a bit.
“And I think, I mean it’s just my opinion... When Germany finally woke up and realised the horror of what their leaders had done... you see, the Nazis and Hitler, in particular, with the level of oratory skills that he had, had managed to convince the masses of their superiority, the Aryan race and the white supremacy that he had advocated and the illusions that he had created that we are going to take over the world — all of that came tumbling down at the defeat. And thereafter, with the entire world teaming up against Germany and telling them what a horrid leader they had, and the horror that he inflicted upon humanity and so on, somewhere the Germans realised ki yaar humne waaqyi bahut zyadti ki hai. Therefore, they were on an extreme back foot and they admitted defeat, they accepted humiliation and with that acceptance, they went and sought forgiveness. And when that happened, you know, humanity is such that when you do have that closure whereby the other person has admitted their mistake, things settle... If you speak to a German and you start talking about Nazis, the average German is gonna feel very embarrassed because of his history. I know this because I live there... live in the sense that I have got family there and as a result I have German friends. I know this. Today if you mention Hitler, they will feel very ashamed because they’ve realised what a monster he was. Now, in comparison, yahan pe there has been no such thing. Nobody has accepted defeat, nobody has accepted their mistake, nobody has turned around and made any apologies. Every time there has been a possibility of a handshake, the Pakistan Army decides to step in and do a Kargil or whatever in order to sabotage any possibility of reconciliation. It doesn’t suit them to have a reconciliation because then it’s going to have repercussions on their economy.”
Even his Padma award became a discussion about India and Pakistan. “When has there ever not been a discussion of India-Pakistan?” he laughs. “That is a perpetual discussion going on ever since Partition; it’s not a new phenomenon”.
That may be true, but Hindu-Muslim, majority-minority has perhaps not been as much of a perpetual discussion as it seems to be presently. As someone who moved from a ‘majority’ status to a ‘minority’ one by choice, what learnings and experiences does he have to share with us? How has his association been with those not of his faith after he moved to India?
“When it comes to my relationship with people in India, I have, frankly speaking, never been able to differentiate in my day-to-day dealings with people from different walks of life. I am not even able to sometimes tell what faith they belong to unless somewhere in the conversation or at the end of the conversation, the person turns around and says Allah hafiz or Khuda hafiz. I will only then get to know that he might be a Muslim. I have so many friends who are Hindu but they will say Khuda hafiz to me. There is no difference ki main goodbye kahoon ya namaskar kahoon ya Khuda hafiz kahoon, mere liye ek hi hai.”
And that does not make either of the two parties traitors to their respective cultures, does it?
“Of course not, of course not!” He exclaims. “The most beautiful thing in our country is that a Hindu will celebrate Eid with me, I will celebrate Diwali or Holi with him and all of us collectively will celebrate Christmas. Mere bahut saare dost joh Hindu hain woh Eid ke dauran aake kehte hain, ‘achha yaar sevaiyaan bhej rahe ho na?’ ya ‘biryani bhej rahe ho na?’. Aur hum unki Diwali ki mithaai bade shauk se khaate hain. And now that Medina (his daughter) is with us, I was telling my wife that next year we must have a Christmas tree in the house. It’s just such a beautiful thing for the child.”
What faith will Medina grow up to embrace? Will she be able to celebrate both Eid and Christmas or is that no longer politically correct in the times the world is living in?
“My child will grow up just like me. She will be able to embrace all and respect all faiths because that’s the way I have been brought up. When I was studying in England, in boarding school, the day used to start with the entire school going to the chapel. I grew up with all of those different faiths. My upbringing instilled in me to respect all faiths because at the end of the day, if you look at all faiths, the basic teaching of every faith is the same, love thy neighbour, don’t do to others what you wouldn’t have done to yourself. Which faith turns around and says that make sure that you sleep with your belly full while your neighbour is hungry? So these are the principles with which I intend to bring up Medina and that’s the way it should be.”
How do these principles play out in real life, beyond the words?
“I had gone to Israel just last year and I went to Jerusalem, I visited Masjid-E-Aqsa, I visited the Wailing Wall, which is for the Jews, and I also went on the ziyarat of Jesus Christ and paid my respects in all of these different places with the same sanctity. So that’s the way I am. Jab yahan pe Ganpati hota hai toh humein har taraf se daawatein aati hain ki please come and visit us and we go. The point is that you respect all faiths. You may have your own principles or your own beliefs, but that doesn’t mean that you cannot respect somebody else’s beliefs. To each his own. That’s the way I have been brought up and that is also the most beautiful thing about our country that we respect this,” concludes the expressive musician, who often reiterates that art is beyond politics.
Flashback 2019 (Mar 5)
“Even though my father was originally Afghan, but because of the fact that he became part of Pakistan by default because of the Partition, his blood or DNA said that I will have to now show my allegiance to this country. Because that’s the Pathan way — this is the country that I’m in now, I will show my allegiance to this country. So therefore today, I have my oath to India to honour. This is a very important thing in our blood that we honour our zabaan, our oath. If I have sworn allegiance to you, by god, I’ll give my life to you. For a Pathan, his zabaan is a very important thing, ghairat is a very important thing. Aapne agar allegiance show kar di hai... he would have said to me that you better be true to the oath that you’ve taken. He was very clear about those things. And so today, if I am patriotic or nationalistic or whatever you want to call it, it is because of the upbringing that I have from my father, and the fact that he placed so much emphasis on loyalty, allegiance and honour...”
Flashback 2018 (Aug 14)
WHAT ADNAN TOLD US:
“I have been granted citizenship under a very special clause, and that is Section 6 (1) of the Citizenship Act 1955, in which the Government of India has discretionary powers to grant citizenship to any individual who they feel has extraordinary talent or exceptional talent in various fields such as science, art, culture, and they can do so at will.”
WHAT SECTION 6 (1) OF THE CITIZENSHIP ACT, 1955 SAYS:
Section 6 (1) in the Citizenship Act, 1955 deals with citizenship by naturalisation and provides for fast-tracking of the citizenship process of an applicant based on their contribution in the field of arts and sciences. It states, “Provided that, if in the opinion of the Central Government, the applicant is a person who has rendered distinguished service to the cause of science, philosophy, art, literature, world peace or human progress generally, it may waive all or any of the conditions specified in the Third Schedule.”
I have my oath to India to honour-Adnan Sami reacts to allegations of being ISI agent
8:11 AM
In the bizarre ways of social media, Adnan Sami, default target of Pakistani trolls at the best of times, found a new response post his support for the IAF: Now, he was “Major Adnan Sami” of the ISI. Unruffled by the “creative trolling”, and not in the least defensive, he has a few words for those reminding him of his ex-PAF officer father’s ‘legacy’
Anshul Chaturvedi (BOMBAY TIMES; March 5, 2019)
Not too long after putting out a tweet in support of the IAF, Adnan Sami discovered a surreal if amusing pattern on Twitter, in addition to the usual trolling from across the border that he is subject to: This time, he was being ‘thanked’ for having done a great job as an undercover ISI agent! While “Major Adnan Sami” understands the sharpness and the mixed nature of responses, given that his father was a Squadron Leader in the PAF, he says he learnt the idea of absolute loyalty to where he is from his father himself and doesn’t owe an explanation to anyone.So when did you first see or hear the recent online references describing you as an ‘ISI Major’?
On Twitter, people start notifying you. And when I suddenly started seeing, ‘Well done, Major Adnan Sami’, ‘Please don’t let the secret out that you are our agent’, ‘You are our hero, thanks so much for the MiG21 information’, I started laughing. Then I realised, achha, yeh angle hai. As it went on, it became more and more creative with audiovisual and all that, and I said, yaar, these guys are putting on such a great show, they’ve put in such an effort. As an artiste, I appreciate art, and this is art, creativity of another level. I have to appreciate and applaud it.
At any other time, across-the-border trolling about you is default, but given the circumstances and the mood of the people in both countries, at this point, does it come across as funny or as hurtful or as something which you see as malicious?Actually, the people who are orchestrating it, behind it all, I know them too well. And it actually doesn’t come across to me as malicious or derogatory. It shows their desperation. Because what they’re trying to desperately do is create a narrative which they feel has been shaken by the events that have taken place recently. Behind the jokes there’s a serious problem, which is leading to this kind of desperate measure of somehow trying to create this diversion. Does it make sense, what I’m trying to say?
Basically, that the son of an ex-PAF officer has gone on record about the IAF to praise it, is something which can’t be left unattended. So something has to be done to bring it down a peg, to make it look silly or spoofy. Is that how you see it?
Because you see, the point is, all said and done, I might be finding it funny, which I genuinely do. But behind it is a serious effort being made by certain powers, which is not exactly rocket science to figure out who. Because obviously they find it very, like you said, the son of a person who used to be in the PAF, openly praising the IAF, is an attack on their ego.
So is it better strategy to ignore it than to engage with it, even in humour?
I would say that I’m ignoring 99 per cent of it, and rightly so, it’s all ignore-worthy. But the point is that it is also funny... I belong to a father who would put his head into a lion’s mouth and start finding humour in that. So I’m always up for a good laugh, regardless of whether it is at my cost or not. I’ll laugh at anything. In fact, I ignore it when it’s malicious, but when it’s in humour, then I’ll probably add two cents to it. When it comes to humour, I’m always up for it and I find humour in everything, whether it was my obesity or anything else. I will always appreciate a good sense of humour even if it’s at my cost. So it doesn’t bother me.
You see, the last thing I would want them to think is that I’m staying silent because I’m offended. Because I’m not. The point is, the kind of mentality they have is that they gave back our Wing Commander because they had to give him back because of the Geneva Convention and the pressure that was on them. But while giving him back they had to turn around and say, ‘Oh humne daya kha li’. Ya phir humne favour kar diya aap par. Excuse me, you did no favour, you were supposed to do it. So if I’d stayed quiet, with that kind of mentality that exists, they would have said, arre he’s been rattled or he’s been scared. So I know that mentality also na — ‘woh issliye nahi bol raha hai kyunki usski phat gayi hai’. I know the bully mentality. So I need to put it across ki, excuse me, that’s funny.
Any of your older friends or associates in Pakistan whom you were on good terms with, do you get sermons from them ki you shouldn’t have said this, your father wouldn’t have liked it? Kabhi unke doston se? Are there dilemmas, conflicting sentiments?No. First of all, my old friends, or family, they know who I am. They respect the fact that the decisions of my life, regardless of what those decisions may be, are my decisions, and I’ve got the right to take them. And they respect my freedom of choice and they respect the fact that it’s my life and it’s up to me how I wish to lead it. And they judge me by how I conduct myself with them, how my relationship with them is, one to one. So it doesn’t affect my relationship with anybody. Because we, as individuals, know our boundaries, I will not question their choices in life and they will not question my choices in life. As long as we’re good to each other, love and respect each other, that’s what matters.
They don’t ever have the audacity of being so presumptuous of thinking what my father would or would not react to. They know that my father and I were each other’s other self, if you know what I mean. My father knew me better than I knew myself. So they know that the last thing they can ever do is presume what my father would think vis-a-vis me. They know that my father gave me his blessings and the matter finishes there. And they also know that I would never do anything without my father’s blessings, or anything which would make my father cringe. I know one thing for a fact — my father was an Afghan (his roots were Afghan). But because of the fact that Peshawar was where they had to leave, we are basically from Herat, and my great-grandfather was the governor of Herat, so when the Revolution took place, the family had to flee to Peshawar, and Peshawar was, at that point in time, part of Afghanistan. And then the British took over a part of Peshawar and it became a part of British India. Even though my father was originally Afghan, but because of the fact that he became part of Pakistan by default because of the Partition, his blood or DNA said that I will have to now show my allegiance to this country. Because that’s the Pathan way — this is the country that I’m in now, I will show my allegiance to this country. So therefore today, I have my oath to India to honour. This is a very important thing in our blood that we honour our zabaan, our oath. If I have sworn allegiance to you, by God, I’ll give my life to you. For a Pathan, his zabaan is a very important thing, ghairat is a very important thing. Aapne agar allegiance show kar di hai... he would have said to me that you better be true to the oath that you’ve taken. He was very clear about those things. And so today, if I am patriotic or nationalistic or whatever you want to call it, it is because of the upbringing that I have from my father, and the fact that he placed so much emphasis on loyalty, allegiance and honour...
So you are carrying forward the same value system, not ‘insulting his memory’, right?
Absolutely not! And you know, his brother lives in Canada, he said to me, you are doing absolutely the right thing, your baba would have been proud of you for holding on to the values of honour. So I’m very much following his legacy of allegiance.
Your grandfather is Afghan, father Pakistani and you’re Indian.
(Laughs!) Yes. So the point is that I’ve got a bit of everybody in me. But my value system is very much like a typical Pathan. Humare liye yeh kaagaz ke koi maayne nahi hote, humare liye zabaan sab kuch hoti hai. Ek dafa zabaan de di, toh bas de di.
So your general message to trolls — be they crass or refined — would be, ‘not going to change any reflex in the future either’?
No. Not at all. In fact, I would just urge them to be a little more creative. Because I’m enjoying their creativity and sense of humour! In today’s language, it’s like, ‘is that all you got for me, bro?!’
---------------------------------
Adnan Sami’s father (Arshad Sami Khan, left) was a decorated fighter pilot in the Pakistan Air Force, and served three Pakistani Presidents as Aide-de-Camp. Adnan dismisses those Pakistanis who today remind him of his ‘legacy’ when he praises the Indian Air Force, with, “I’m hearing more about him being a war hero today than I did when he was alive... Uski qabr kahaan hai woh toh tum jaante ho, woh zinda kahan tha kya yeh jaante ho?”
WHY ADNAN’S PRAISE OF THE IAF PARTICULARLY RATTLES IN PAKISTAN
Adnan’s father Arshad Sami Khan was in the Pakistan Air Force (PAF) and a decorated war hero. He fought in the Indo-Pak war of 1965 and was Aide-de-Camp to three presidents — Ayub Khan, Yahya Khan and Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto. He retired from the PAF and joined the Foreign Office, served as ambassador to 14 countries, Chief of Protocol for seven prime ministers and presidents, Foreign Secretary and Cultural Secretary.
His bestselling book, Three Presidents And An Aide, was published in India and released by former PM IK Gujral after failing to find a publisher in Pakistan.
A SUBCONTINENT IN A FAMILY
Adnan’s great-grandfather and grandfather belonged to the Afghan aristocracy. The family had to flee to Peshawar, a part of British India and later, Pakistan. By virtue of the boundaries drawn after Partition, Adnan’s father became a Pakistani. Adnan, born a Pakistani, became an Indian citizen in 2016. “So the point is that I’ve got a bit of everybody in me,” says Adnan, “Although my father was Afghan, the fact that he became part of Pakistan by default because of the Partition, his DNA said, ‘This is the country that I’m in now, I will show my allegiance to this country’. Because that’s the Pathan way. Today, I have my oath to India,my zabaan, to honour.”
Demise of my father overshadowed all my other problems-Adnan Sami
8:20 AM
Priya Gupta (BOMBAY TIMES; July 7, 2015)
Adnan Sami, 45, is an
incurable romantic, hon est, questions things and can be
stubborn, but is also extremely simple, straightforward, emotional and
sensitive.He may have been closed-minded and fixated as a teenager, but
thanks to his father, today he is the exact opposite and is not just one
of the world's top players of the piano, but is also the first musician
to have played the santoor on the piano. After a hiatus in Bollywood,
he has sung and is featured in the already hit qawwali Bhar Do Jholi
Meri in his friend Salman Khan's upcoming entertainer Bajrangi Bhaijaan.
Over an hour-long conversation in his beautiful apartment in Andheri,
he talks to Bombay Times about his connection with RD Burman's house,
the night he decided to lose weight in London and the biggest regret
that he has in life. Excerpts:
How did you become a Bollywood composer?
While my mother is from Jammu, my father was originally from Afghanistan as my grandfather was the governor of five provinces there including Herat. During the Bacha Saqa revolution, he was assassinated and my father Arshad Sami Khan was moved to Peshawar to keep him away from danger. My father was a diplomat and served as Pakistan's ambassador to 14 countries. I was born in London and grew up there and studied and lived in a hostel throughout in London and became a barrister. My father was a great admirer of music and the arts, so there was always a lot of culture in the house.
As it happened, while my father was the ambassador in Portugal, the ambassador's residence had a piano and so, I started learning how to play it at the age of five. Everyone knew of my father being a fan of Indian classical music and thus whenever there would be shows, he would be invited and he would take me along with him. I was 11 when I first met Asha Bhosleji along with Panchamda in London through a common friend. I played some music to Panchamda, who said to me, 'Yeh agar tum ne bajaya hai toh bahut achcha bajaya hai.' I said, 'Maine hi bajaya hai.' So he gave me one of his portable Casios and made me play it on that, which is when he believed me. Ashaji was very loving and said, 'If you continue playing like this, you could be a music composer one day.' I always believe that there is nothing like coincidence. Who knew that many years later, my first album Kabhi Toh Nazar Milao would be released in India and that too, in her voice. I realised that santoor and piano came from the same family. So I used to come to India to learn the santoor from Pandit Shiv Kumar Sharmaji and am the first musician to play the santoor on a piano, but it was because of Ashaji that I finally came to Mumbai at the time of my first album in 1999. No one knew me, but they all knew Ashaji and that's how I came into the limelight. I really will never be able to thank her enough for giving me that platform and can you imagine when I came here, she was the one who put me up at Panchamda's house, 101 North Avenue at Santacruz, for eight months. I had a very musical address and beginning. He had passed away but she had kept that house exactly the way he had left it. No one knows but that is the reason why even today my email address has the number 101 in it.
Who do you love the most in the world?
My father, who I lost in 2009. He was my inspiration for everything I did. He was my mentor, my shoulder, my best friend. I owe my existence as a musician and my existence as a very determined person in life also to him. He was detected with pancreatic cancer in 1989 and the doctors had given him just 6 months to live, but he survived 20 years due to his determination and that too, without taking chemotherapy. Fortunately, he died in Mumbai while he was visiting me from Houston, where he lived a retired life, when he, all of a sudden, slipped into a coma. And then I went and buried him in Islamabad.
Do you still miss him?
At 230 kilos, my hands looked like muffins. When I started losing weight, the first time I could see my knuckles, I called him at 3 in the morning and woke him up and said, 'Babs (as I lovingly called him), I can see my knuckles.' He was always there for me and would never be upset that I had woken him in the middle of the night and would just share my joy. It's very strange that I was so attached to him that my whole life I spent with the fear that what am I going to do when he is not there. But then the day came when I had to confront that fear, when the inevitable happened. And while there was tremendous sense of denial on my side, surprisingly, I did not break down. One, because I know that he always wanted me to be strong, but also because I believe that my baba's this chapter of his existence was over, but he had now gone to the one after this, which is eternal. So, it's just a matter of time when I too will join him forever there and it's better that we get over with this temporary existence. There is never a moment in a day when I don't think about him. The thing that I miss most is that now I can't pick up the phone and talk to him for any predicament I may have.
How did you land up losing so much weight?
I was the Abu Dhabi squash champion and played rugby , polo and tent pegging but after finishing my studies, I stopped playing any sport and continued eating, so I became obese with my living out of a suitcase lifestyle. My mother's side genetically was also obese. I could eat upto 2 raans or easily two big chickens at a time. Post one of my tours, baba and I were in London together in 2005. In 1989, he had been operated upon in Cromwell Hospital. So since we were in London, I said to him, 'Babs, why don't we get your check-up done since we are here?' He was very alarmed at my physicality as I had now reached a weight of 230 kilos. He told me, 'Look, I have lived as much as I had to, but tum apni fikar karo.' I would always divert that conversation whenever he started it. But this time, he put his foot down and put a condition on me that he would get his check-up done only if I too got it done. So we both went and when it came to the results of my check-up, the doctor sat me down with my father and without mincing any words, he said to me, 'All your vital organs are on the edge and are about to blow up and Mr Sami, given your lifestyle and weight, I wouldn't be surprised if your parents found you dead in a hotel room six months from now, unless you did something about it.' Now, I wasn't terribly perturbed about what he said, but I was angry that he said it to me in front of my father. My father heard and we moved out. My father was very soft-spoken, but he gave me his look that I understood meant that it was about high time. I told him, 'You know doctors are melodramatic.' And I went out of there right into one of the famous bakeries at Harrods and I bought 2 boxes of all kinds of pastries for myself. He just looked at me and said, 'Bacche, Khuda ka khauf karo.' And we went to the hotel and I hogged. In the evening, we were sitting around when my father sat me down and he gave me a lecture that was a game changer for me. He said, 'I have supported you in everything you wanted to do in your life and I will continue to do that and I will always be there for you and have never asked you or anything in return. But I want one thing from you. Ek baap ko apne bete ko dafnana nahi chahiye. Yeh mujhse mat karvana. I beg this of you. You have to bury me.' I had tears in my eyes and I said, 'Baba. I promise you that I will lose weight and unfortunately I ful illed that promise. Of course, I didn't know that I would lose 160 kilos and become 70 kilos that I am now.
What was the lowest point in your life?
When I lost my father. They say that time is a healer, but there are certain wounds that you don't want them to heal. You want to keep them alive for comfort. I would still like to believe that I am living over here and he is somewhere still there in Houston. The only thing is that he does not have access to a phone.
Roya is your third wife. Why does your loyal nature not translate into your love relationships?
I am an incurable romantic. I am even in love with the idea of being in love and hence, I write a lot of love songs. My sense of loyalty is also extreme. But I also believe that sometimes things are just not meant to be. I respect my earlier two wives for the times we shared and for being a part of my life and like to remove negativeness. I have a son from my first marriage and he lives with his mother in Karachi. Roya and I are keen to start a family.
Did your father meet Roya given that you got married to her just after he died?
That is one of the greatest regrets she and I have. I met her just a few months after he passed away. I think that every thing that he had envisioned of what he wanted from a daughter, I see in her. Her so many habits are exactly like his. He always wanted me to marry a girl from Afghanistan. While she is German, she was born in Afghanistan. Like my father, she too has a saying for every occasion. She too has an eye for perfection and likes cleanliness like him. Also just like him, she is warm and loving and always has that never give up attitude.
What really was your visa controversy all about?
It never was a problem actually. Unfortunately, it was the lawyers of my ex-wife who thought that they had come along a huge revelation of sorts. Like in any other country, you have a visa till a certain date and then, as per requirement, you put in an application for extension which I did, which means that you have exhibited to the government that I have no intention of staying here illegally so kindly do the needful. Due to work load it may come post the date but since you have applied for it, it is legal until you get that refusal. So, since the date had passed, they assumed that I had not done the needful and made it an issue. I am a diplomat's son and the first thing I will know is what visas are all about. My dad was very unwell and we knew that he would not make it. It was at that time that I was being dragged to court but wanted to shield him from all that, so I would dress in a suit and tell him I was going to a function though I was going to court. But I know that he knew. And while that time was tough, the impact of losing him overshadowed everything else.
How did you become a Bollywood composer?
While my mother is from Jammu, my father was originally from Afghanistan as my grandfather was the governor of five provinces there including Herat. During the Bacha Saqa revolution, he was assassinated and my father Arshad Sami Khan was moved to Peshawar to keep him away from danger. My father was a diplomat and served as Pakistan's ambassador to 14 countries. I was born in London and grew up there and studied and lived in a hostel throughout in London and became a barrister. My father was a great admirer of music and the arts, so there was always a lot of culture in the house.
As it happened, while my father was the ambassador in Portugal, the ambassador's residence had a piano and so, I started learning how to play it at the age of five. Everyone knew of my father being a fan of Indian classical music and thus whenever there would be shows, he would be invited and he would take me along with him. I was 11 when I first met Asha Bhosleji along with Panchamda in London through a common friend. I played some music to Panchamda, who said to me, 'Yeh agar tum ne bajaya hai toh bahut achcha bajaya hai.' I said, 'Maine hi bajaya hai.' So he gave me one of his portable Casios and made me play it on that, which is when he believed me. Ashaji was very loving and said, 'If you continue playing like this, you could be a music composer one day.' I always believe that there is nothing like coincidence. Who knew that many years later, my first album Kabhi Toh Nazar Milao would be released in India and that too, in her voice. I realised that santoor and piano came from the same family. So I used to come to India to learn the santoor from Pandit Shiv Kumar Sharmaji and am the first musician to play the santoor on a piano, but it was because of Ashaji that I finally came to Mumbai at the time of my first album in 1999. No one knew me, but they all knew Ashaji and that's how I came into the limelight. I really will never be able to thank her enough for giving me that platform and can you imagine when I came here, she was the one who put me up at Panchamda's house, 101 North Avenue at Santacruz, for eight months. I had a very musical address and beginning. He had passed away but she had kept that house exactly the way he had left it. No one knows but that is the reason why even today my email address has the number 101 in it.
Who do you love the most in the world?
My father, who I lost in 2009. He was my inspiration for everything I did. He was my mentor, my shoulder, my best friend. I owe my existence as a musician and my existence as a very determined person in life also to him. He was detected with pancreatic cancer in 1989 and the doctors had given him just 6 months to live, but he survived 20 years due to his determination and that too, without taking chemotherapy. Fortunately, he died in Mumbai while he was visiting me from Houston, where he lived a retired life, when he, all of a sudden, slipped into a coma. And then I went and buried him in Islamabad.
Do you still miss him?
At 230 kilos, my hands looked like muffins. When I started losing weight, the first time I could see my knuckles, I called him at 3 in the morning and woke him up and said, 'Babs (as I lovingly called him), I can see my knuckles.' He was always there for me and would never be upset that I had woken him in the middle of the night and would just share my joy. It's very strange that I was so attached to him that my whole life I spent with the fear that what am I going to do when he is not there. But then the day came when I had to confront that fear, when the inevitable happened. And while there was tremendous sense of denial on my side, surprisingly, I did not break down. One, because I know that he always wanted me to be strong, but also because I believe that my baba's this chapter of his existence was over, but he had now gone to the one after this, which is eternal. So, it's just a matter of time when I too will join him forever there and it's better that we get over with this temporary existence. There is never a moment in a day when I don't think about him. The thing that I miss most is that now I can't pick up the phone and talk to him for any predicament I may have.
How did you land up losing so much weight?
I was the Abu Dhabi squash champion and played rugby , polo and tent pegging but after finishing my studies, I stopped playing any sport and continued eating, so I became obese with my living out of a suitcase lifestyle. My mother's side genetically was also obese. I could eat upto 2 raans or easily two big chickens at a time. Post one of my tours, baba and I were in London together in 2005. In 1989, he had been operated upon in Cromwell Hospital. So since we were in London, I said to him, 'Babs, why don't we get your check-up done since we are here?' He was very alarmed at my physicality as I had now reached a weight of 230 kilos. He told me, 'Look, I have lived as much as I had to, but tum apni fikar karo.' I would always divert that conversation whenever he started it. But this time, he put his foot down and put a condition on me that he would get his check-up done only if I too got it done. So we both went and when it came to the results of my check-up, the doctor sat me down with my father and without mincing any words, he said to me, 'All your vital organs are on the edge and are about to blow up and Mr Sami, given your lifestyle and weight, I wouldn't be surprised if your parents found you dead in a hotel room six months from now, unless you did something about it.' Now, I wasn't terribly perturbed about what he said, but I was angry that he said it to me in front of my father. My father heard and we moved out. My father was very soft-spoken, but he gave me his look that I understood meant that it was about high time. I told him, 'You know doctors are melodramatic.' And I went out of there right into one of the famous bakeries at Harrods and I bought 2 boxes of all kinds of pastries for myself. He just looked at me and said, 'Bacche, Khuda ka khauf karo.' And we went to the hotel and I hogged. In the evening, we were sitting around when my father sat me down and he gave me a lecture that was a game changer for me. He said, 'I have supported you in everything you wanted to do in your life and I will continue to do that and I will always be there for you and have never asked you or anything in return. But I want one thing from you. Ek baap ko apne bete ko dafnana nahi chahiye. Yeh mujhse mat karvana. I beg this of you. You have to bury me.' I had tears in my eyes and I said, 'Baba. I promise you that I will lose weight and unfortunately I ful illed that promise. Of course, I didn't know that I would lose 160 kilos and become 70 kilos that I am now.
What was the lowest point in your life?
When I lost my father. They say that time is a healer, but there are certain wounds that you don't want them to heal. You want to keep them alive for comfort. I would still like to believe that I am living over here and he is somewhere still there in Houston. The only thing is that he does not have access to a phone.
Roya is your third wife. Why does your loyal nature not translate into your love relationships?
I am an incurable romantic. I am even in love with the idea of being in love and hence, I write a lot of love songs. My sense of loyalty is also extreme. But I also believe that sometimes things are just not meant to be. I respect my earlier two wives for the times we shared and for being a part of my life and like to remove negativeness. I have a son from my first marriage and he lives with his mother in Karachi. Roya and I are keen to start a family.
Did your father meet Roya given that you got married to her just after he died?
That is one of the greatest regrets she and I have. I met her just a few months after he passed away. I think that every thing that he had envisioned of what he wanted from a daughter, I see in her. Her so many habits are exactly like his. He always wanted me to marry a girl from Afghanistan. While she is German, she was born in Afghanistan. Like my father, she too has a saying for every occasion. She too has an eye for perfection and likes cleanliness like him. Also just like him, she is warm and loving and always has that never give up attitude.
What really was your visa controversy all about?
It never was a problem actually. Unfortunately, it was the lawyers of my ex-wife who thought that they had come along a huge revelation of sorts. Like in any other country, you have a visa till a certain date and then, as per requirement, you put in an application for extension which I did, which means that you have exhibited to the government that I have no intention of staying here illegally so kindly do the needful. Due to work load it may come post the date but since you have applied for it, it is legal until you get that refusal. So, since the date had passed, they assumed that I had not done the needful and made it an issue. I am a diplomat's son and the first thing I will know is what visas are all about. My dad was very unwell and we knew that he would not make it. It was at that time that I was being dragged to court but wanted to shield him from all that, so I would dress in a suit and tell him I was going to a function though I was going to court. But I know that he knew. And while that time was tough, the impact of losing him overshadowed everything else.
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